Long Walk Home on the Lake Erie Shore

[smartcookie]

Hi, well, H got sidetracked for a minute, so I'll start on this.


<<you've peeked my interest here....what've you got to tell me? If it's bad for me, about me and my R with my W..then probably not now. However, if it's an issue with her, then.....go for it. I have several suspicions, but would like your thoughts....

You know how I swag (sophisticated wild *ss guess)..here goes...these are general ideas, not every situation, not every person, not every time....

When a child is abused, they numb (dissociate) out their mind & body as a way of getting away from the abuse. When that child becomes a woman, & she gets into a sexual interaction, that "ability" to numb out is almost instinct & she has to learn how not to do it. Her body feels nothing. No pleasurable feelings, no stimulation, nothing. She feels pressure & knows she is being touched, but it doesn't have any feeling sensation attached.

This gets tricky.

Sometimes, those same survivors also know how to use sex to get affection & attention. They know how they're supposed to respond, they're very adept at faking an "O". So, it's possible for that woman to be with a man who is quite skilled & talented as a lover, yet never achieve any pleasure from it, yet appear to be quite pleased. A lot of abused survivors can count on one hand the number of orgasms they've had, even though they may have had numerous partners, & hundreds of experiences and their partner would never know that they're incapable of having an orgasm with a partner. A lot of abused survivors can only have an orgasm by themself.

Now, what were your suspicions ?

Now, your book question. In my opinion ........ marriage books are written for people raised in a semi-functional, semi-safe, semi-loving home. If one of the parties was abused sexually, physically, or psychologically, in anyway, all the rules are changed.

Night.