Hey Mishka, Jen, I dont see anything good.. I see someone tired and drawn and old and frowny and thin and unnattractive. I think I cant be good company or fun or interesting, else he wouldnt have left me. I dont feel remotely confident and cant imagine anyone ever finding me attractive ever again. If they did, I would be scared that they would end up hurting me. Usual rejection stuff.
He's driven me to distraction with his inability to discuss anything. 10 years of my life and he still says things like "its ok, really, dont, stop, dont apologise, I just feel ropey thats all".. thats all? How about telling me why you contacted me every day for 6 months including phoning me most days for 3 months? How about explaining why you can see every male friend under the sun and go to the pub and to music festivals and even stand there all day in the rain, but you cant see me even for an hour because you want to "chill" and "relax". He's totally avoided me for 2 weeks now, if it wasnt for that lease, I know he would stay away from me, possibly for months, and probably will once thats signed.
I cant believe how fast he dropped me. I know we never did get back together, or even have an R talk, but he was initiating all that contact and I spent that weekend with him (4 weeks ago now) so forgive me for not wanting to let go sooner, I thought he was sticking close for a reason.
I feel like such a mug! And he joked earlier that I was a muppet. How true.
