I just realised that my DBing went out the window...I kept saying "But I havent seen you" or "I was hoping to see you" - instead of being all cool and as if, I never ever said this stuff to him in the past 6 months. So thats a change I guess. And he didnt freak out, in fact, its like he kept repeating "its ok, I'm just ill" like there was no other reason for not seeing me. I write as he speaks, I do miss bits, but this was verbatim:
M: Its just that I'm conscious that I haven't seen you for a while. (TRYING TO CONFRONT IT!) H: I'm sorry I'm just not up to it that's all M: Well, as long as thats the only reason? H: Yes, I just feel crappy M: Well then I'm sorry to put you on the spot..(interupts) H: Don't worry about it, don't, stop it really (sounding very sweet), I'm just feeling a bit ropey that's all, don't apologise. M: Well, as long as you're sure H: No, honestly, its ok M: But I haven't seen you for the past few weekends H: I know, I've had stuff on. I'm just not feeling too good, I definetly need to go and eat something. M: I'm sorry if I am making you feel awkard, I was just hoping to see you I guess. H: Sorry, I'm upsetting you, I just want to chill here. We need to do that tenancy thing as well, but I know that's not the point (sounding sweet, as in, that's not the only reason to meet) M: Well if theres some other reason, or if you are annoyed at me H: NO! Of course I'm not annoyed at you, you muppet (being sweet again, we joke about muppets for a bit). Of course I'm not, I just feel like being quiet and I do feel quite ropey. I guess I've been a bit mad the last few weeks, drinking a lot, its just the way things have happened.
