I am doing better.... I am finding that the more I realize "WE" are not who we used to be. The better. I can talk to him , he will listen and we arent the same people we were before the BOMB. It is still hard but he isnt the same and I can say things I could have never said before. He makes me feel x, y or z but now I can actually call him on it ... So me shutting down isnt helpful.... talking is. I havent stated my fears { he used to cheat and go out alot.. etc etc etc...} I will work thru those.
I have stated however that his moods are affecting me and that is he wants me to be happy this is not the way to get it...
JUst wanted to update that thE car hubby bought me is a used {circa 1996 } AUDI. I was accused yesterday of being a Princess and that I needed to get out of my center of the universe chair. On the other thread that I have ....
I am not offended . I just thought I would clarify here as well. I dont want people to think of me as A PRINCESS.
I was happily riding my bike everywhere and then hubby called me told me lets go take a look at it and we bought it.
I dunno I guess by my level of happiness , the guy who called me a princess must have thought it was brand new? Does that even matter? New or used? Does that make you a princess? Also he interpretted that I threw a fit to get it from my post..... I need to take more time when I post apparently.
Watch out for this one guys!! I hear she likes to cook with nothing but an apron and high heels on....with sharp objects!!!
Alimari....it took me a bit to figure out where I 'knew' you from. (Ok, so I'm not the brightest crayon in the box)
-IC
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
Dont tell all my secrets......
(Ok, so I'm not the brightest crayon in the box)
I however am I am bright pink... the princess color kind ?
No bright Miami Latina PINK!!!!!!!! LMAO~
Did you see I am a princess? I dunno why but I felt I had to respond to him and explain that is the farthest thing from the truth. I guess it would really bother me if after all these years of working on being humble...
while cooking with nothing on but my apron.... and stilettos........
Oh never mind....
Glad to see you here. IC2~ it is starting to liven up some over here.
I am still hoping that my husband will cook all that for me too....
I am still hoping that my husband will cook all that for me too....
LOL. So, do you think my "Sure fire 'drop her panties' meal" will work over here? I'll have to run that one by DQ and see if it would work on her.
A princess huh? For some reason, I never got that impression of you at all. You're doing great btw in how you have been dealing with your husband...keep it up.
Hmmm...how would we men in look a cooking apron with just running shoes on?
LOL
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
That would look very silly but the butt showing would be great... I am a butt lover..... OOPS~
I may/will post the whole ugly thing later { my H had a major blow out last nite, I stayed calm....and he said he was done with me!!!!!!!!!! I was very calm and told him I was fine with that decision.}
.....I have come to the sad realization that my H is most likely an alchoholic. I actually feel some resentment that I again have to change.... I have to go to meetings and I have to get proactive once again.
It also breaks my heart to think he may never get sober and he will always live this way. I know I cannot live like this forever.
I will lose someone that I love dearly and wanted to grow old with.. I truly have loved this Man
*~{ he left this morning and snuggled me and didnt want to leave and specifically said SEE YOU LATER... HE 100% OF THE TIME SAYS JUST BYE}~*
Like nothing happened.... This is madness.... Love, ~Ali
I know this hurts so badly for you. My sister is an alcoholic, but it is one thing to see someone in your family struggle with this and quite another thing to have the head of your family, the person you all depend on, to be in denial and affecting his whole family with it. The biggest step that she ever took was to admit that she had a problem. Like any addiction though she had to make this decision on her own. We could not make it for her and she literally had to hit rock bottom before she ever turned it around. She lived alone at the time so she wasn't dragging anyone down with her, it did hurt to see her like that though.
My father was also an alcoholic, but he never got any help for it. He was what you call a functioning alcoholic. He always had a steady job and never got a DWI or anything, but it did affect us as a family and took him away from us as having a father and a husband for my mom. As much as it hurt when my folks divorced, honestly it was probably the best thing for us. Once we didn't have to deal with it day in day out. It was like a weight taken off of us. I pray your H will wake up to see his problem and how he is hurting you all so it won't have to come to that.
I have even had to fight off that alcohol demon myself. During my "scoundrel days" I would binge drink, I was to trying to kill the pain of how my marriage had turned out. My running away from it and trying to hide from my problems only made them worse though. During the time that my wife was sleeping in my daughter's bedroom, she was avoiding me. She didn't want to be in the same bed when I would come home late at night drunk. How I didn't end up dead in a car wreak or in jail with a DWI, I'll never know.
I am the reason that my marriage is so messed up and that my wife turned away from me. How could she love someone that was doing everything he could to hurt her? I had to wake myself up, my wife was not like you though and ready to grow and try to reach me. I had to do this and reach her on all my own. I still haven't convinced her that I am a changed man and may never be able to, something that I may just have to live with for the rest of my life.
What I am saying Ali is that he may wake up too, but he has a wife that loves him so much and is trying very hard to be there for him. He may finally scrape bottom and then see how good you are to him. If he doesn't then you are making yourself strong enough to stand on your own. Just don't give up on him yet Ali, there is a good man inside of him, it is just hidden while he is drinking. Read the words to the Two Faces song on my thread. He has a good side and a bad side. The bad side though is not really him and he hates that side of himself, he just has no control over it until he chooses to do this for himself.
I will keep praying for you Ali and also praying for your husband. You are so amazing to have continued to fight to reach him. With God's help maybe you will.
