Welcome (again I know not where we want to be) to the boards. Just to weigh in here as someone who also tends to pursue, who has posted a few times about whether I should write a letter...DON'T do this. It's only been 1 week, and you need to let the dust settle. It's too new to feel like there is no hope. Have you spoken to a DB coach yet? Is this something that you would consider doing? I have done this a few times, and while my situation is not great, it has at least given me clarity into my own actions, and if I can only learn to follow the coach's suggestions, I might be able to make some progress.
Your H won't believe you if you write a letter saying you are willing to change. You are going to have to show him change, and this will probably take time. It depends on the situation. Seems like some people see drastic differences in weeks, while other people are here for years. Have you tried validating your H's feelings? Do you have any reason for contact over the next couple of weeks? Let him cool down for awhile, if you want the advice of someone who has never been very good at this...it's really damaging to pursue someone who wants to be left alone.
As Gman said, read the DR book if you haven't yet. Also make yourself some very small, yet achievable goals to work toward.
Hope you feel a little bit better soon,
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
