The Door That Never Closes!

[forward]

DB C told me--first you must let go of anger. Then friendship, then, maybe, romance is an option.

You are still new w/separation. You are still angry. Anyone on this board gets that. It is very difficult. It IS unfair. It is not right. Unfortunately, it is a part of our lives right now.

So you're going to have to get past the anger. Give yourself some time. Yes, you would like to hang him, and not necessarily by the neck. We all get that. You just don't want to get "stuck" in the anger phase. Try to find productive ways to let those feelings out.

I would suggest that if you can't interact with H in a friendly way, and if your anger shows, go dim. Be friendly when you do see him, but unavailable except for things you HAVE to communicate about.

This has helped me because w/H more or less out of the picture, I had no choice but to focus on myself and start doing things on my own. I do recommend it, depending on where you are.

TCBE's suggestion of purging H's things is very very good. If you are able, I highly recommend replacing the things that H had with things that YOU like and enjoy. So excellent a feeling! If you have no spare cash at the moment, rearrange the furniture. Painting is also cheap, although I've lacked the ambition for that.

It's good if H sees these changes, but it is not essential. It made me feel as if I was doing something to move on.

I also recommend experimenting w/personal appearance. I've had quite a bit of fun in that arena!

It doesn't hurt to have the feeling "Why, what was I doing with H? I am such an excellent catch!!! What WAS I thinking?"