is it really true?

[stella_k]

Dear ((((poet)))),

I will wait. It's only 4 days until we're face-to-face. And it's easy to go dark on him. I was going dark for 5 months, not a single call from me. The only thing I didn't try yet is LRT.

I've heard all that same stuff you are thinking that your husband is *going* to say. And that was two months ago.

I hear you!

MY problem is, I've already heard from him EVERYTHING LBS can only dream of! ILY, never stopped loving you, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen (he said that!), I'm unhappy, please take be back, will you ever forgive me, my life has been hell ("every day was like 9/11", he said that too!!),I want my life back, you name it. I wanted to post something on SG's thread
"the miracle question" and I couldn't think of anything. My miracle would have been H telling he loves and needs me WHILE AWAY from me. It never happened. Now I don't even know what to dream of.
All the positives and baby steps, all the loving, caring words, all tender moments go down the drain the moment he takes off!
He was standing next to me in the church, holding my hand, telling me "the nightmare is over", " I looked at her and realized I didn't love her". Now, 3 months later, he's looking at her and realizing she's the one. Do you see a pattern here? I do.
I can act As IF, and I will, even though I know that H will see it as an act, and he will know that I know... Still, I'm going to do it. I can even win him back. The question is: for how long?

Right now I feel strong, detached and ready for whatever's coming my way. Then again, when we're face-to-face I can have a major meltdown! It's happened before. We shall see.

(((Suzanne)))