The Door That Never Closes!

[ddstartingover]

Treese - you know I'm there with you. My H and I had this e-mail battle over scheduling time with OUR kids during the school year. I had to go to open house with them at the end of it. He came too, and I had to keep from sobbing the whole time I was there. I finally told him that the kids hadn't had dinner yet, he could take them and feed them. He thanked me. Actually thought I was doing him a huge favor----when in fact I needed to go home and break down. I was sobbing before I got out of the parking lot.

It is not fair. This is not what we signed up for. I signed up for "death do us part," and I WANT MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER. For those of us that have been with our spouses FOREVER I think it's a lot harder to GAL. He's my one and only, and I know I was his "first" and always thought I would be his "only," and it sucks!! I never had a life without H. It's like trying to learn how to walk without legs.

All of the advice we're given is given in good heart. I hope some day it will all click, but it hasn't all clicked for me yet either. It all makes sense and I am sure that someday it will be useful, but not today. Not all of it anyway.

You ARE doing better. You are having one of those days today, and tomorrow will be a little better. You've been HERE before and you know that there can be better days.

Someone here told me once that my H had me on a leash and it would stay that way until I took it back (or something like this). Your H has your leash. He is in control and you need to find a way to get it back. You are doing a lot better than I am at GAL. I still am not employed outside the home, and I have to accomplish that soon (for my sanity). You have that awesome tatoo. You have all your friends and family for support. You can do this! It's just not as easy as some tend to imply, or that we think they are telling us.

Do you have anything in the house that H has left behind that you can box up, throw out in the yard or burn??? Maybe that would help release some of the anger...........I have thought about boxing up all of my H's leftover things this week, just to help me let go. I did clean out his toiletry cabinet and threw away everything he left behind like razors, shaving cream, shampoo, etc. I took over all the shelves and drawers. It is bittersweet-----but nice to have the space.

Find something you can do to release your anger and remember what you do have.............and remember we're in this together and we will survive!!!!