LO, I totally know what you mean about hoping the settlement will just GO THROUGH as is. H is agreeing to soooo much right now, and its on paper and signed, just need it to go through. I fear he will change his mind as well, and he is being very generous at the moment. I don't want him to be broke either, but I will have the girls more and will need more grocery money/bill money, etc.
Parenting plan is up to us. We have none, sadly. Can't with our schedules, but have a little bit on paper. I hope yours goes through!!! When is everything...final?
It is funny finding out for sure that it is done and I didn't cry. No big sigh of relief though either. I think we are about in the same time line with the 2 year affair. Sorry that you have to go through all of this too.
I have meant to ask, where in Iowa are you?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well folks.. I think we might actually have a settlement. I ended up with most of what I wanted with just a little bit of backlash while going through the process. I am compromising on some stuff, too but am ok with all of it. Well.. not all of it.. I mean who really wants a D ???
But, it's time to suck it up and become that independent woman that I've really always been. I'm ok with that.. The clingy person I've become for the past few years is gone now and it's ok.. in fact, it's good
I'm sad but, getting to that better place. I'm the queen of boundaries now.. No ow near my house.. In fact, I better not see the ho's # on my caller ID again! This is MY sanctuary now and she better just back off!!!
I don't know how I'll react when everything is final kat... I might just have myself a good cry.. Either that or a BIG glass of wine!
I don't know how I'll react when everything is final kat... I might just have myself a good cry.. Either that or a BIG glass of wine!
Olive,
I'd have that big glass of wine first(heck make it two). I find that crying is so much more effective after we've had the wine. We can really get into it, and work ourselves into a frenzy. You know the type of crying where our nose runs, we are heaving, and end up look "so pretty"? Then we can always blame it on the booze. In essence killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
Congrats on the agreement. That to me was the hardest part of the whole process. Now you can work on GAL.
I don't drink but maybe I should have just for those "special" moments. I did cry a week ago when I first had a hint that it might be final, but nothing since I found out for sure. Life hasn't changed that much since. I still think about the whole mess but not nearly as much as before.
There isn't the anxiety which is relief just in its self. Maybe that is part of why I am so tired. Like my C says, I have been doing this on my own for quite some time now, so that won't change. I already know that I can do it.
You can get through this too. I don't know what I would be doing with out all of you. Even my C thinks that this forum has helped speed my healing along.
Hugs, Olive. Come chat if you want to.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You're right. You are so much stronger than you probably ever thought, but being forced into a situation like this shows us loud and clear who the strong was all along. It's so much easier to run then to stay and fix things. Who wouldn't like to run from their problems from time to time, but if we did that, where would that leave our kids?
I find that crying is so much more effective after we've had the wine. We can really get into it, and work ourselves into a frenzy. You know the type of crying where our nose runs, we are heaving, and end up look "so pretty"? Then we can always blame it on the booze. In essence killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
HAHAHA!!! So very true.. the wine helps the emotions come out better, doesn't it! lol
kat - I agree.. just not having the anxiety any longer makes me sleep better at night. My IC also said that she thinks this site was good for me. Especially in the beginning when the A was a big secret and I had no place to go but here.
You sound terrific. I'm so proud of how far you've come in the last year....you are soooo much. You will do great. You are a wonderful woman and you have a great life ahead of you.
We all hate to see our marriages end, but we did all we could to save them and at the end of the day that's the best anyone can do.
Hope
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hi Hope! Thanks for stopping by... I do feel as if I have kind of turned a corner. Honestly, my biggest worry has been about custody of D4 and now that we have a decent plan in place, I am doing soooo much better. Whew!
Now this house I live in just has to sell and I will be well on my way to a new life.. One door closes and one door opens, right?!
