is it really true?

[stella_k]

Dear ((((all)))),

H has called.

We spoke for a very long time, our financial situation and his projects, as usual. I didn't like the convo at all.
First of all, I mentioned that I've been trying to call him yesterday and he wasn't there and he didn't reply anything at all. Which means he was with OW. I know, he'd tell me the truth, so I didn't ask.
He was making one pause after another, as if he wanted to say something and finally I asked him: is there anything you want to tell me? He said Yes, but we should talk when we see each other, not on the phone. I think he's made up his mind finally, he's chosen, and it's not me. It's her. He sounds grave but determined, no wavering. I didn't sense any feelings of guilt, shame, confusion, etc. He called me by pet name but it was as if he was talking to an old friend or a relative.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, friends, but it doesn't look good at all. I think he finally accepted the fact that he does not love me anymore. And it is more than assuming, I know him too well.
I FEEL it. I was dying to ask him a direct question, but then I thought better of it. I can wait for 4 more days...

I'm very sad, but I'm not having a panic attack and I don't cry.
I'm ready to accept it, too.

If he was an MLCer, and not a DAM (and I believe he was), then he must have emerged finally out of his tunnel. I can tell that he's grown up. And the person he's grown into doesn't want me. It's that simple. For two years he kept saying that he doesn't know what he wants. Now he sounds like he KNOWS. And I should respect his decision.

I still have a tiny ray of hope that I've misunderstood him, of course, but I really think it's time for me to let go.