Piecing (or so I want to believe)

[7 Year Itch]

Yeah, I'm an idiot. How Icould think one great week out of 4 months would be great news.

I'm just done guys. I cannot stay on this rollercoaster anymore. The crap hit the fan tonight.

I just don't think I can go on.

One minute he's attentive, happy, joking with me. The next he's telling me I'm smothering him, he's angry at me not pulling my "financial weight". Um hello dip, I asked you when this I was offered this job if it would be ok, KNOWING it was not what you initially wanted me to get. I only took it because YOU said, yes go for it. Tonight, he totally throws it in my face. So I say......."what do you want me to do Chris? Do you want me to quite and look for something full time. That's why I initially asked you" .To which he gets snotty and says. "You're a big girl. I'm not going to tell you what to do".

OMG, I wanted to hit him right there. THIS is the alien. This is not my sweet, considerate husband I always believed him to be. He's seriously Dr. Jekyl and I'm so worn out from it.

So I lost it tonight ,and told him I'm just done being the scape goat for all his unhappiness. That I love him, I want to work on this, and I'm still hoping for the best, but that I'm not just going to lie down and let him walk all over me. That this is crap, and I'm tired of it.

Well, you can guess how that went over.

So much for happiness eh?

I'm really starting to feel like I need to get out. I love him, and never imagined I could feel this way, but I really just need to know what is going to happen to my life.

HE really insinuated some nasty things tonight. Really mean and hurtful.

I have no idea what happened in the last 24 hours, but it's like he totally flipped out.

4 months, and I think I may be nearing the end.

I know I sound like a freak, sounding so positive just a few days ago. This is my life. And I'm over every day being on a yo yo.

Chris