I guess maybe that wouldn't have worked out for Paul:
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
Guess that just depends on where your world view comes from.
What about a plain hot pastrami on rye with a cold Dr. Brown's cream soda to wash it down and a stroll on the beach......
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
W was here this morning, same as yesterday. Saw her in a towel as she went to take a shower. Looked in 'her room' and her luggage was in there. Seems like she is moving back home. She hasn't said anything to me and seemed a bit nervous this morning.
I am being still. Nothing has changed. God sent her home for some reason.
So, as we recall W decided she had credit on her old Sears card and decided to get tires for 'our minivan'. I did suggest that she call and make sure it was still active and she says she did.
So, she calls me around 5:30 because the store says the account is closed and is their money in our joint checking account to pay for the tires ($520) She doesn't have it in HER checking account of course. She sounds pretty angry.
I just say, 'yes there is' and she says she'll transfer some money into the account later.
About an hour later she calls and talks to D12. She doesn't come home or talk to me but I think she's hanging out with her friend who she was house sitting for.
W showed up at the house around 11:50 last night. She had the rest of her clothes and stuff and she has moved back into the house.
She got up this morning and seems like she's in a really unhappy place.
She apologized for the money mix up yesterday. I told her it wasn't her fault, Sears told her she had money when they had actually canceled the card. She told me her plans to make some money in the next few days and went on to say she only made half the money this month that she made last month.
I validated that it sounds tough and stayed pleasant.
She said she'd find a way to pay for groceries for the family since that's her responsibility.
She was looking at the classifieds for rentals. I don't know how she expects to afford anyplace. She looked like she had been crying.
Anyway, I didn't try to fix anything. I'm just staying at an emotional distance from her and being kind and pleasant when I can. I know she has to go so I'm trying to not get attached to her being here.
I realized today that I've been faking my PMA and it shows. When I interacted with W this morning it was the 'real me'. I wasn't being nice just to be nice, I really did want her know that I didn't blame her for the Sears money fiasco.
I think part of the reason is that even though it hurts, I've reached a calm place of acceptance. I know that I'm forgiven for my role in all this, and I know I forgive her for her role. I understand who she is now, and who I am also.
I would be grateful if we had a chance to put it all behind us and re-learn how to love each other for who we are. Until then, I will continue to be kind and decent in our interactions, and keep my main focus on my own life and what I'm doing to keep my kids in their home, and all other things I need to do.
I hope it's not to late to salvage these things, and I know God will show me what to do.
W came by a little while ago and knocked on my office door. I told her to come in and she had a dark green T-shirt in her hand.
She held it up and said "I was cleaning the rest of my clothes out of 'P's closet (the house she has been house sitting at) and I saw this in there and it 'looked like _you_', do you want it?"
I said 'sure, thanks, I hope it fits!'.
She said "Well I'll go put it in your room" and left.
I would be grateful if we had a chance to put it all behind us and re-learn how to love each other for who we are. Until then, I will continue to be kind and decent in our interactions, and keep my main focus on my own life and what I'm doing to keep my kids in their home, and all other things I need to do.
I hope it's not to late to salvage these things, and I know God will show me what to do.
Frank, I think what you just posted was amazing, truly I do. You still have so much love and compassion for her, your heart is still tender and not hard.
Forgive me, but I am an incurable romantic and although I have not been following along on many of your posts I am so very impressed lately with your ability to be vulnerable and honest with your true feelings towards your wife.
Persevere.....and keep giving it to God.
((((hugs)))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
