[I'mstillhopeful]

Seeing a glimpse of the man I fell in love with and married got me all twisted.

I don't know, but it seems like he was peeking out of his MLC a tiny bit. It also might have been the proximity to the anniversary. (Odd isn't it that all three of us who share the 13th experienced a weird little positive shift around THE day?)

However, yesterday was somewhat of a test for my husband. I've been leading the way in the fight for my marriage. I've been investing my emotions, giving support, providing things a wife provides for many months without much given in return. Yesterday, four years after we promised to love each other forever, I waited for him to take the wheel. Deep down inside I hoped flowers would arrive (although he's only given me flowers twice in our relationship - he's soooooo NOT the romantic type). If he had given me any indication that he was willing to give us a second chance, I believe I would have jumped at it (with many "needs" of MINE to be met for a change).

No flowers. No card. No reaching out, other than to call before he left the office to see if he could pick anything up for me at the store (I missed the call). I let him have the lead and he dropped the ball, so I'm going to continue on as if the eve of our anniversary was just a dream.

Isn't this normal behavior for someone beginning to come out of the fog? We can't expect a steady increase in interest or intimacy. Once the WAS begins to admit to themself what they have done often withdraw.

Also, I certainly understand how receiving flowers would have been wonderful but I think he may not have gotten to the stage where he can even think about your feelings.

I will try not to close my heart completely, but I need the man I love to FIGHT for me.

Ms. Imp, I'm glad to hear that. I'm in the same spot myself. Should H want to work on things I certainly won't agree immediately. He has to demonstrate that he is committed to making our R better.