Wow! that is great TD! im so excited for you guys...that must be a very intense prpcess and i can see why lot of fears came up for you....keep me posted on the progress!
ok- so my H called me back after i texted him...he has to go to work so no coffee break...he was at the gym swimming -it is so funny where our head takes us when we get worried..i need to stop that mind set as it is very dangerous and low self esteem!
so we talked about his plans for the weekend- for some reason i thought he worked but he has the whole weekend off...i had said i wanted to see him and i wasnt sure when i would get to..he said lets plan on sunday afternoon/evening...so thats good... but i had asked before that if he wanted to meet saturday- he said mybe..so he might have plans...i just want to be with him every day. ugh. silly me.
anyway...it is just hard bc it seems like so many days apart- i know thats funny...i cant believe i just said that...
i also invited him to our friends house thats 5 hrs away and he said he worked so he couldnt...i think ill just go alone and be with her and her kids as her H is very busy with a new job...i had hoped he would come but there will be more time and i also want to yap with her a lot anyway!
so i am keeping busy- i have classes that begin next week so im excited for that....i just need to stay cool and calm.
TD- when you are your W were in this phase was it weird too?
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
when you are your W were in this phase was it weird too?
My sitch was a bit wierd. The hardest time for me was when we were together. We were still in our old house for a number of months before we sep. Most of the rollercoatering happened during that period and it was not until the end that I found DB and was able to start turning things around. It was too late to prevent the sep, but not too late to gain my confidence.
Since I took the best friend approach and was also used to doing most of the stuff around the house, I ended up helping her move and get things straightened out. She also needed me to take care of the kids several nights during her time with them and we had pre-planned together time with the kids. So even though we were sep we pretty much saw each other almost every day (not too unlike JeninVen). One day she said aren't we supposed to be separated. I said "if we are it sure is the wierdest one I ever heard about"
So the actual wierd part was when she started having me stay there overnight and it became a daily occurance and I still had the other house I was renting. There was about a month of that before I stopped renting the other house and got everything out of that. During that period, I didn't want to pressure her to have me give up the place, so there was always the possibility. In some respects it felt a little like limbo (though not in a bad sense....just in a money spending sense)
That was pretty much the weirdest part. There was also a period were it took us a little time to get back in the groove....if you know what I mean which was awkward
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
ok-that makes sense- so it is just a new phase of awkward for us....that makes me feel better...if i just like his best friend-which i have been - there will be no pressure...i think im nudging a bit- but he has sort of slowed me down...if i keep doing that, it will slow him down even more. so he needs his space.
he knows the hot tub is an open invite- i said that today- so i dont need to ask for a while...
what a weird phase...i guess it is like dating.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Your doing good. He said he wanted to meet to see you on Sunday. That was better than you planned since you though he was working all weekend long. I think the nudging you have been doing has been working good. He has been responding. It could be he just had plans on Saturday.
Thing to remembe ris if you nudge and he doesn't accept then don't nudge harder....give it a rest till you hear from him again or a day or two. Don't get impatient and scare him away....he likes you! Don't make him think you are needy
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
It is probably more excitment than neediness (it just comes across as neediness to your H). I think you pretty much know where you are heading.....he does to, you just want the BS to end and start to enjoy your life.....he wants to walk a little slower that's all.
I think the pace he setting is good, it kind of makes you both think about things a little bit and appreciate what it took to get there.....this isn't a lesson that you want to get through quickly and forget about it later only to relearn it all over again....it is good if it is ingrained in your head. It gives more opportunities for these changes you have both made to become who you are thus not falling back into old habits
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
slow and steady kiddo. slow and steady. remember, Nov 1 is your goal here....that's two and a half months off!!! you got lotsa time. lotsa and lotsa time....
don't get impatient.....like me...LOL....
you are doing great....honestly....
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
ps. one thing I forgot to add about the camping trip when we were falling asleep in the tent my H had his arms wrapped around me and his leg draped over me...i had my head nuzzled in his neck ...and he said ..."I miss you"...I squeezed him and said "I miss you too...I never went anywhere... and I will never go anywhere"....then he sniffled a bit and fell asleep....
CHILLS up and down my spine!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
