So it's been 2 weeks since H came home. And just like all the other times, the feelings of if I wanna continue this are there. It always happens about a week to 2 weeks after he comes home. Usually I would bring these up to him. But this time I'm not. But it's extremely hard. I want to talk to him about how I feel, but I don't think it's a good idea. He's still here. So I should be thankful for that. But the late night and early morning texts have started again. I believe that they're talking again. He told me last week that she has received a job offer in another state. It's been her dream to live and work there. And if she accepts the offer she will terminate. He informed me yesterday that the termination will be in 3 weeks. That really makes me wonder. Why 3 weeks away? I believe because she thinks that will give him time to change his mind about them. He says she is definitely gonna do it. And he feels that he needs to be there when it's done. I told him I agreed with that. Mostly for confirmation that it's done, but I didn't tell him that part. The longest he has stayed home was 2 or 3 weeks. With affection between us stopping a week before that. Then he goes back to her. He still kinda cuddles at night but last night he slept with his back to me. I made a comment about it and he turned around and cuddled the rest of the night. I even woke up at one point and he was holding my hand. Which is something he hasn't done since before he left the first time a year ago. But then during the day, it's back to normal...not a whole lot of affection, which I understand. Also, he's having surgery a couple days before the termination. It was scheduled after she scheduled her appt. Because of the surgery, I don't know how he is going to be able to be with her during her appt. Unless she changes the appt. I guess this is just a huge vent post. But if anyone has some encouragement, I would appreciate it. I don't trust him. That's obvious. And I'm thrown back and forth between this is a hump and if I really wanna do this.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
I'm also having a problem with one of my emotional walls. This has been going on for so long and he's always been the one to WAW and I've been hurt so many times. I feel my wall is coming up where I want to go ahead and tell him to leave again, so that he can't hurt me again by doing it on his own.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
I think you should come up with some things to do that would take his attention away from the "problem". Stay busy and try not to let every little thing he does change your mood. Focus on you and your happiness. Like I have heard, nothing is more attractive than a happy confident person. Be that person.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Last weekend, OW informed him she was late. Monday, she took a test, it was negative. Yesterday, after he told her he was coming back to me, she informed him she was PG.
You know what? I bet dollars to doughnuts she's not pregnant. He should go over there with a pregnancy test and insist she take it.
(((C13))) Well while I hate to wish ill on anyone, it probably couldn't have happened to a better person. I hope this ends their contact. ((((hugs)))))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
well, she's still contacting him. yesterday it was to imform him about the miscarriage. he was going to go see her, then an hour later, she said don't come, but don't tell me about it. today, it was to tell him she ruined her sheet and mattress from bleeding so much. i asked if she went to the hospital, he said no, she was there yesterday and they said to expect it. i asked him if he remember how much i bled after delivery, he said not really. i told him it was alot, after 40 weeks, she was only around 6 weeks. so it should've been like a normal period. maybe a little heavier. if she bled that much, she needs to go back to the hospital. i don't want to push him anymore on my belief that she is completely lying about it. so i'm hoping he'll get the hint.
Last edited by Confused13; 08/15/0805:59 PM.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
(((C13)))) Desperate attempts by a desperate woman to be the "center of attention." Being pregnant didn't make him come running like she thought, it drove him home. So if shes "not pregnant" then it should bring him back to her. She needs to go to the hospital so they can hopefully do a successful removal of her head from her rectum. Shes a game player and a predator.
I hope he figures it out too. I'm praying for you.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
She needs to go to the hospital so they can hopefully do a successful removal of her head from her rectum.
Sugar- I know that the subject of miscarriage and all of that isn't funny, but your comment above was! I know it's been a stressful time for Confused, but I hope that made her smile too.
My prayers are with you too Confused!
SueS
Last edited by SueS; 08/15/0806:20 PM.
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
