Piecing (or so I want to believe)

[7 Year Itch]

ladybug... nope, you are right. It was my D2 with the lump. Her surgery was yesterday and it went GREAT!! I'm just so glad it's done. My heart stopped a bit because they said it could take an hour, but they didn't expect it to take that long. Well at the hour mark, both H and I started getting nervous. It was almost an hour and a half before anyone came out, then it was the Anestesiologist NOT the dr. So I saw him, and freaked out. But our Dr. had to rush into an other surgery, so he just came out.

Everything went smooth, and it is at pathology right now, but he said it looked totally harmless, and thinks it will turn out to be nothing. Just extra tissue. And we got released last night. We were originally supposed to stay the night, so we had D6 set up with a sleepover at a friends etc, but she did so well, they let us go home.

Now I just have to wait about a week for the pathology report, then THAT big thing will finally be behind me. I'll be so glad. And as I type this she is running around like a crazy girl. You'd never know she had surgery yesterday. CRAZY!

Well as for H. The somewhat expected pull back is happening. I knew it would come, hoped it wouldn't. I need to keep it in perspective, but I'm a bit bummed. This was such a GREAT week. He even said it was a good week, but that he still doesn't know, and doesn't want me to get my hopes up. But his actions say everything otherwise.

We actually had a FIRST for the last 4 months where we were actually talking of a "future" thing together. That hasn't happened in all this time, but the other day we were talking about refinancing our house, and making an extra payment a year now that I'm working ,to lower the amount of years we have on our mortgage. We've planned NOTHING together all this time, so that was nice.

But like I say, last night as he left, he made sure to let me know not to get my hopes up. His feelings haven't changed. He's not going to rush anything, and he's willing to "wait and see" but nothing has changed. I'm bummed, but trying to keep in mind all the good things.

I'll just be devestated all over again, if after all this positive, he just lets it go.

Well, I'm off to finish school supply shopping today. He'll be here soon.

Chris