Trixi trying to find moorage

[NikB]

(((Trixi)))

Happy Friday! At least, I hope it's a happy day for you.

On the weekend - yay!! You know how glad I am to hear that. It doesn't matter if he's busy or not - what matters is you made plans to do something you enjoy regardless of what H was or wasn't doing.

While I realize I could be wrong, I strongly believe that you did not miss a golden opportunity. It's all too common for us as the LBS to think that there IS one golden opportunity, magic moment, etc. that will fix things. I think in reality that's rarely, if ever, the case.

I should mention in forever21's case - she is either D'd or almost D'd now and has moved on to a new R. I'm not saying I think that's where you're headed, just wanted you to know that. I see similarity in her H just not stepping up, and in her getting strong enough to demand more. That's what I hoped you could get inspiration from.

If I would have exerted pressure when he was saying I was winning him back, I might have made headway because he was 'feeling' loving towards me.

You know... I actually strongly doubt this. Pressuring him to reconcile fully would likely have pushed him further away. So quit beating yourself up on that ok?

Where I think you could have made more headway - AND STILL CAN - is detaching, getting strong on your own, respecting yourself, and demanding that respect from him.

Be the PRIZE that HE is trying to win. If he doesn't try hard enough, he doesn't get the prize.

Pretend you're a single girl who's dating. I know, I know, it's been awhile and you're thinking "how the heck do I do THAT?" but really think about it. Got any single friends you can ask and they can help give you the "rules" of dating? Heck maybe even one of those cheesy dating books would work... I dunno. Something to get you into that mindset.

Once you're there, see if H is worth dating. Does he measure up to your standards? Does he do enough to convince you to keep seeing him?

I hope that helps some..

(((Trixi)))