I think it was Bill that had me thinking that way a while ago, but I have been off track.
The old marriage and relationship is gone, at least in our spouses mind. You are starting fresh and new, with the intentions being to have them fall in love with the new person that you have become. The history and familiarity is still there, so we have some advantage.
This is interesting. Back in the day, when I was still talking to my H, LOL, I said he seemed like a stranger to me. And, I asked him something about, didn't he feel the same way about me? Or, something along those lines.
Well, wouldn't it be nice if we could approach each day as a new beginning. Maybe even "think with the mind of a beginner" each day?
But with the added bonus of knowing now what we didn't know then.
Sheesh...how many times have I heard someone say offhand how nice it would be to go back and do high school again knowing what we know now as adults.
Theoretically it would mean that we would do it RIGHT this time. That we would soak every ounce of worth and value out of that experience. That we would ask out the crush this time. That we would step in and stop the bully this time. That we wouldn't be afraid to take a chance on the tough class that we passed on last time.
You're not a beginner Neil.
You've learned and you've become smarter about how to take care of YOU while you're trying to take care of your family.
You've learned that you can't control how your wife responds to you.
You've learned that becoming a better man, a better father, a better husband is worth every single ounce of effort it requires.
You've learned that when you are confident and secure in who YOU are, your wife notices. Sometimes when she notices it is a good response, and sometimes it causes her to withdraw for some reason.
So you've learned not to ANTICIPATE or EXPECT specific responses from her, knowing instead to trust yourself and go with the flow.
Here's to all of us approaching each day with the beginners mindset:
- I CAN do this - I WILL do this - My marriage is WORTH however hard this might be - I won't be misled by her words at all, and rarely by her actions - I KNOW my spouse still has love for me in his/her heart, and becoming the STRONG me is my best chance to help him/her rediscover it
...rather than allow the weariness of weeks and months and sometimes years, beating us down into submission.
And yet, at the same time, here's to all of us LEARNING our lessons and becoming more efficient at doing the things we need to do. To becoming less prone to slipping into old habits.
Strength and honor.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
"...with the intentions being, to have them fall in love with the new person that you have become. The history and familiarity is still there, so we have some advantage."
Bill you rock. I think i said that the other day.....seriously. LOL
Maximus....whatever his full name is...
Russell Crowe.
Gladiator
i show that movie when i teach Rome.....
i also like to live by these words (now, do i all the time, no....LOL...but i shoot for them all the time)
Lights out tonight trouble in the heartland Got a head-on collision smashin' in my guts, man I'm caught in a cross fire that I don't understand But there's one thing I know for sure girl I don't give a damn For the same old played out scenes I don't give a damn For just the in betweens Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul I want control right now talk about a dream Try to make it real you wake up in the night With a fear so real Spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come Well, don't waste your time waiting
Badlands, you gotta live it everyday Let the broken hearts stand As the price you've gotta pay We'll keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good
Workin' in the fields till you get your back burned Workin' 'neath the wheel till you get your facts learned Baby I got my facts learned real good right now You better get it straight darling Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got Well I believe in the love that you gave me
I believe in the love that you gave me I believe in the faith that could save me I believe in the hope and I pray that some day It may raise me above these
Badlands, you gotta live it everyday Let the broken hearts stand As the price you've gotta pay We'll keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good
mmmmmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmm
For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me I wanna find one place, I wanna spit in the face of these badlands
Badlands, you gotta live it everyday Let the broken hearts stand As the price you've gotta pay We'll keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good
personally, i think this is springsteen's best song. period.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
