I figured out a plan to handle this car sitch though. Ready? Are you all sitting down?
So here's my idea. Are you sitting down? Okay, first H could move back home (I did ask if you're sitting down right?), then we can get him a motorcycle again to have during the nice months of the year and I can use his truck. THEN, come closer to winter I can worry about/focus on getting a car. There. Makes sense right? So, when do you think I can start clearing room in my closet?
PS - I'm sooooo kidding!
Dar,
LOL! You could start a LBS biker chick support group! It would certainly make your H sit up and take notice, if nothing else!
I've wondered a few times---what would our MLC/WAS's think if we went off the deep end and started displaying some of the behaviors that they've been engaged in? Would they even notice? Would they think it was normal? Or would they roll their eyes and think we were doing it just to teach them a lesson? Hmmmm.........
Not that I'm advocating that we should all go crazy with our own MLC's, I'm just pondering........
:-)
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
Last night went pretty well. No R talks or anything near it from me (or him, but that's obvious ). D got the dollhouse she wanted and some of the furniture from the IL's. H got D the Wii and also tickets to see this Walking with Dinosaurs that's touring the US. They say it's the closest thing you can get to being in the movie Jurassic Park. Since she loves dinos I know she'll love going! My question though....is H starting to reconnect with D and hopefully start with me then too, or could this be guilt purchases? His family is materialistic on buying love. Oh! And I would call H's place home (on purpose so he sees/thinks I'm detaching from him) and he would use the word home too since I started. Last night he kept saying "the apartment" instead. What do you think??
No, I completely agree. I was also trying to take D and now H got tickets. The only reason I knew about this too was because D told me that daddy told her the other part of her present was to see Walking with Dinosaurs. I do feel like he's trying to one-up me now, but not sure.
I too am down. I've been at the car dealership since noon trying to get a freaking car. The car I went there for was taken from me 5 minutes later since supposedly friends of the owner came for it and no one knew. Now I'm trying for another one, they sent me home to get proof of residency and income, and while home they called and told me to hang out a bit since this is going to take a while. How does this take 6 freakin' hours??? Grrr! The finance dude called and told me.."if you have more of a down payment"...yadda yadda yadda. Well, I'm sorry, I'm giving you $1900 and that's all I have literally! I HATE car shopping!
I don't know what to do either if this doesn't go thru. The bank declined me for a loan and now if they do too, then I'm screwed without a car.
Ended up working out and I got a car finally! Phew! H was in good spirits yesterday and tm'ing back and forth while I was at the dealership. Hopefully he's thawing some more.
All, still wondering your thoughts on this thing with H....do you think he's starting to try and reconnect more with D, and then maybe me then too, or just maybe buying love out of guilt?
Dar I know that my h reconnected more with the kids first. Way back he would say things like I am only coming over for the kids, but most recently when the kids were gone he said he would come over and hang out with me.
I am not sure about the one up on you. I just think they have guilt and they want to spend time with the kids doing something they would enjoy together. I heard the dinosour thing is really good, but we couldn't afford it either.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
My H reconnected with the kids first BUT it was S17 he really bonds and connects with. H and the girls don't talk very much and they do not go out of their way to talk to each other when H comes over. The girls got burned when H was in his anger mode a few years ago and also H flaunted the A in their faces. Even though they have moved on, the girls do not go out of their way for him and he says they don't come to him so he keeps his distance.
Me--it was not until recently where H could spend a lot of time with me. But he has stopped the texting and calling to me.
Your H is reconnecting which is a positive.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Do you really think H is reconnecting SF? For real? Because I'm feeling like you right now where the enemy is really trying to dig into my thoughts.
H couldn't take D to Walking with Dinosaurs, and he was kind enough to ask me if I'd like to take her. We went this morning and it was pretty freaking cool! Unfortunately, H's part bday gift to D costed me $20 in parking and $40 for 2 souvenirs! UGH! Spoiled kid!
When we were driving into the parking lot, D said "I wonder if we'll see daddy and his girlfriend taking a walk around here". My heart dropped. I asked her why she said that and she said "Daddy's always on the phone when he goes outside to smoke, so I think it's a girlfriend". What do I say to that??? Do I not ask H about it? It really hurts to hear that.
Oh, a spiritual thing did happen to me though on the way to the city. I looked up at the license plate in front of me and it was "Nik Nat8". I think that was my twin boys saying hi because their names are Nicholas and Nathan and we call them Nick and Nate. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think it was them.
If he is doing more with your daughter and seeing her more often, then that is reconnecting.
I feel for you that she asked about the girlfriend. My H used to do the exact same thing when he was living at home. Go outside to smoke and call grandma. yes, i do call her that as she is older than he is and yes, she is a grandma.
Your twins--you have never mentioned them but yes, I would say very spiritual. I bet it gave you the chills.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
So, when do you think I can start clearing room in my closet? 