Ali - I know you said you don't have sisters, but don't you have a close female cousin or friend you could get away with for a long weekend? You didn't really address my suggestion. It doesn't have to be a sister, but you DO need the time away, so you can think about YOU instead of about H for a few days. That is what you need, hun. Please think about it.
Ali - I know you said you don't have sisters, but don't you have a close female cousin or friend you could get away with for a long weekend? You didn't really address my suggestion. It doesn't have to be a sister, but you DO need the time away, so you can think about YOU instead of about H for a few days. That is what you need, hun. Please think about it.
DQ
You are right I am sorry I didnt address your suggestion. I honestly thought I had. Anyway yeah I have a few close friends. I do need some time to myself. Even the kids are driving me nuts as of late. I feel so pulled in too many directions. Right now we are in the middle of moving.., 4 bedroom house. Running a business and a 17 year old that I love dearly but at times could choke. * wink * wink* Yes sitting on the beach with a Corona would be so awesome right now. And some coconut oil and a Cabana boy making sure I didnt miss a spot.... just kidding about the last part. Do they even still call them that?
Anyway I have a GF in Florida that I miss alot.... maybe her...
I am going to give it alot of thought and have been already DQ~
If you see the advice I was given on Sunday... I need to focus more on me and you are right he doesnt want me to be a softy.... I love you guys , you help bring out the best in me and are not scared to tell me what I need to hear! ~Ali
OK Ali you sound good...but you need to commit to doing this for yourself. Call your GF in Florida and ask when is the earliest weekend you could come and see her. Tell the H he has to take care of the kids that weekend and just go. There is no reason you cannot do this, even though it feels like a selfish thing to do. It is NOT selfish. It will actually HELP the H too, because it will make him MISS YOU and have respect for you.
Whenever I do something for myself (for a weekend or even just one evening going out dancing with my friends), my man does put up a tiny bit of a struggle, because he knows he will miss me and he won't get the golden treatment for that evening or a weekend, so of course, just like one of the kids, he is going to protest. But when I return...I am like "new" to him again, and the fact that he missed me while I was gone makes him "want" me more than ever. And it goes beyond just wanting you and missing you cuz you were gone...it goes deeper....it goes into his "respect" file in his mind, because he respects me for taking care of ME. It also helps him so that HE doesn't have to take care of me for that one weekend, as he does do a lot to take care of me, too. So he gets a break, too.
Call your friend....schedule the weekend for about a month from now...check the fares every single day and one of these days, the fares will drop to $200 or less for your flight....DO IT!
Did I mention to you all that I had my hubby practically screaming in ecstasy the other nite? I know I am supposed to focus on me and that is what I did .. I promise. I WAS smiling like a Kid in a candy store and he looked like a dear with headlights in his eyes.{ My Wisconsinite side coming out } { oh dear}
Will post that tonite.
5 gold stars... For sure..... Detaching.... and smiling even more every hour that goes by. God bless... ~Ali
So I am doing well and really detaching myself from his anger. {Foo crap , and work}. yeah me....
Yestarday I am making him dinner and my S9 comes down. "DADDY says you need to go upstairs right now." ? I was honestly ready for him to yell or be ugly anything but this.....
So today just for me : I put hot rollers in my hair and I am looking like one hot Mama.... I am having cofee and I am going to enjoy my day. It is beautiful and sunny here and I feel like if I stay in the moment and try my best I will be ok. I also want to go on a bike ride today.... I want to finish up my office stuff for our business too. I like this and at the same time it feels so different to not worry about "him" or the "R"
I am going to be laid back... and enjoy myself. Be the me that I have always been. Just when he is around ,like I have said before, I tend to close off or shut down. Not good at all.
I am vibrant and I need to get this thru my damn head... I posted on the old thread I had in the Piecing forum.There are several ladies there who are feeling like me. I think when my H acts distant from stress from work.. it mimicks cheating for me and I get insecure right away. That needs to change. I am going to work on going back to posting like this is my personal journal and not worrying about who might read this or that. Purge all my feelings whether they seem rational or not. That has helped me in the past get thru these times.
I am doing better and I am also not focusing so much on hubby. Yesterday he threw a TANTRUM~ { I know 5 he has alot running thru his head } the size of Texas. { insert eye roll} I put him on complete ignore... a few hours later when it past he was fine. { eye roll}
He asked me when he came up to bed after being oscar the grouch... did Sesame Street lose an actor?
" WHY DONT YOU SRESS SEXY JUST FOR ME?"
wtf?
I guess the FOO stuff really has altered his perception of absolutely everything....
In the morning I was too sexy and WTF? did I like to dress like that {eyes rolling} In the evening I looked frumpy {eyes rolling}
This morning { he loved it but wouldnt want anyone else to see his goodies look } are you really going to wear that?
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazingly I am fine and he needs a vaca -tion from himself .
I am doing great as a matter of fact and I am not sugarcoating a thing.
NO more MRS. Nice guy.
Thanks S&A and B~ I was being for too nice. It is my nature but it gets me nowhere!
It is getting results.
Oh and BTW~ yesterady he bought the frump Master. A car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it.......
~A Silver Audi~
I will check in later I am off to run errands for our business.
And if things go well this weekend I get to rcharge with a little mini 2 day vacation!!!!!!! thanks DQ~ it will help.
Oh and BTW~ I am really focusing on me and the SL is doing well. I am feeling more like me these past few days in tthat arena anyway.
Really just doing what I want to him. Taking him as DQ says and not really asking questions or worrying so much.It has just sort of blossomed this week. If I want to unzip him and take him I have been. He is always tired but then I try again later and he is ok with it.
The R~ I am not worrying too much about it either. I am trying to stay in the moment and enjoy it regardless of his outbursts.
} { oh dear}
