The original topic were similar to the questions 1. Why does a man run through periods where the ladies run, laugh, and throw rocks then on que turn around and all chase him at once?
I have seen generations of men over the years wonder about this. A quote from George H. Bush called it BIG MO. I believe there are more forces involved.
2. Do you belong to the same union? Pay dues formulate coordinated plans
If you honestly take this original question with total seriousness you partially missed the point. I was expecting answers similar to 1. But you are such a good rock basket 2. We need to practice our line rush 3. Yes we pay dues and it's tax deductible
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
know what bothers me (probably not related - or maybe it is...)....
I have this friend (no really, I do ) and she's been divo about 8 months now. She's just really struggling and I get that, but she's losing her standards...or maybe she didn't have too high standards considering her ex. Sleeping with people (same guys), not demanding any kind of respect for herself....she even told this fella that she's fine with them being * buddies.
I'm not judging - I guess I'm just sad for her and I don't get it and I guess I'm not feeling like it's my place to say anything. I think she's justified it all to herself because of the "cycle" she's in with grieving - according to her therapist.
I just feel like she's going to wake up and go wow, why did I do all that?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
KS: I have seen some people react this way following their split. It has to do with your self esteem being shattered. It is not something I could do but I've learned that everyone handles their devestation differently.
So, one dates as many as possible, one goes after a married man who worked with her H, perhaps in an attempt to get the ex to notice, some won't date ANYONE for fear of further hurt. I find myself somewhere in the middle of these extremes.
My suggestions are:
Take your time to heal yourself.
Figure out what you want for yourself.
Love yourself on your own before venturing out there.
Set standards for yourself and don't stray from them.
Allow yourself to grieve - it is OK! Don't give in to everyone trying to push you to move on to new Rs.
Set a good example for your children. They've learned some bad from one parent. Try to make what they learn from you the best.
Always be polite and show respect. If you are NOT interested - don't lead someone on. But don't throw rocks either.
she's losing her standards...or maybe she didn't have too high standards considering her ex. Sleeping with people (same guys), not demanding any kind of respect for herself....she even told this fella that she's fine with them being * buddies. \:\(
And about where might this friend of yours live? Just sayin', is all... joking!
There's a lot of pain out there. But adding pain to pain doesn't make much sense, does it?
Women in their 30s-50 used to be one of the healthiest categories of people. Now we're seeing higher rates of things from smoking to eating disorders to STDs in that group. Depression continues to be higher. Most researchers blame more women working, but I do wonder if Sep or Divorce can explain a sizable portion of this, either as the WAS or the LBS.
I have friends, male and female, that reacted to their D pain like your friend. They usually catch themselves eventually. At least she isn't picking up strangers - that is usually scarier. A woman I know is behaving recklessly and I am afraid she may find herself in a bad situation.
In most cases, my friends don't seem to be in the state of mind to listen - so usually I just tell them to be careful so they don't end up with "lingering memories." When your friend wakes up - she may regret her actions - perhaps it is what she had to go through to get where she needs to go... The path isn't always ideal...
NHill:
I had a list of 1001 ways to enjoy eating crow - so sad to see that topic has been spent...
Maybe I have to rack my brain to figure out a post about crows that drop rocks into rock baskets. NHill - are you sure those were women throwing rocks - perhaps they were crows dropping rocks that happen to coincide with those encounters with women.
Okay this is not working - I had rocks dropped on my head several times today....
I know I went a little crazy when I found about X's affair. Luckily I had a great friend and her hubby that took me under their wing and let me tag along on some of their date nights. It got me out of the house AND I had a great chaperone who made sure I knew the bus boy was not a good catch, no matter how cute he was and how he was smiling at me...nothing wrong with bus boys, mind you. Just sayin'
It is an esteem issue. I was so sure no one would ever want me again, I needed reassurance and I needed it NOW!
I tell you No Hill, it's a feast or famine issue. When it rains it pours. I want what she's got. Hey, if she thinks he's ok, he must be ok, I think I want a piece of that. Heck, it works for married men all the time, right?
I'm not an expert, but I've been there. And I survived.
) and she's been divo about 8 months now. She's just really struggling and I get that, but she's losing her standards...or maybe she didn't have too high standards considering her ex. Sleeping with people (same guys), not demanding any kind of respect for herself....she even told this fella that she's fine with them being * buddies. 
LOL
