I went to the grocery store to try to fill our bare cupboards. I realize I haven't been doing that, partly because W is supposed to take care of groceries as part of our so called financial agreement. Well, she has been giving D17 money occasionally to shop but D17 hasn't been getting much.
She's really not ready to take on that responsibility.
So, I'm being the single dad and taking care of things.
Just before I left W called and asked both girls if they wanted her to pick them up something to eat. D12 said no, she already ate, D17 was in the middle of eating. W said she'd pick up D17 a salad.
When I went to the store, W was there. She didn't see me and I avoided her. I felt like I posted earlier - it doesn't feel good to be around her so why do it?
I'm kind of melancholy tonight. I see my life spread out before me, with lot's of possibility of financial success if I keep my head on task. I see pretty much no possibility of my marriage being saved, at least not because of anything I do, and I understand that I need to sit quietly and no longer put any effort into it.
She seems happy with her life. She has a new man to fill the emptiness inside her, although he seems like a needy man also. A match made in heaven.
I know my marriage is a covenant and as such it should be saved. I'll let God decide that one.
