Quoting shinybear: By the sounds of it, I could vacation with you guys any time...reading, talking, eating, sleeping,...add a little vino and I am sooo there...CJ'd probably like it too
Ooh...there was wine! And locally brewed beer, too!
Quote: MOST of the ones I've seen are NOT particularly goals oriented and knowing YOU, hon, you need someone who can maximize this goal-setting mindset of yours!!!
I especially don't like that she DISAGREED with you about your FEELINGS that the therapy wasn't helping you!!! Oh my GOD!!! That's not right!! It is entirely your right to shop a bit and FIND a therapist who is a better match for you.
I don't know, Sage, I don't like how she handled your concerns. Wouldn't it have been more professional to ask in detail why you felt that way? Offer to provide more structure and goal=setting to the sessions? Or at the very least admit that her style is not best suited to what you need and recommend a referral???
Thanks so much for your insights, Shiny. I too was put off by the way that she handled the whole thing..I know therapists are human and have feelings but aren't they supposed to be leaving their ASSumptions and all in THEIR therapist's office?
Last night actually went a bit better -- she started off on the right foot, at least, asking me more about what I had been thinking/feeling about wanting to be more goal oriented, etc.
What I tried to describe to her was that I think that there are past AND present reasons why I do the things I do (so to speak) in my R. -- whatever those things are (good and bad). So, for example, in the area of feeling scared to open up to h -- well, there's the past stuff (overall fears, etc) and there's clearly the present recovery from the a....and what really matters to me right now is how to use ACTIONS and GOALS to get thru it...not necessarily sitting around dishing about it.
I'm not saying I NEVER want to go to therapy again and I think I've been good about using insights and thought to get at root causes of lots of stuff...I'm just thinking that the balance needs to be tipped towards ACTIONS right now. Present stuff.
Anyway -- she was pretty ok with that but then at the end of the session, it was clear that after the first week of September we don't have a mutually convenient time in our schedules to meet (I'm going back to school) and she actually seemed IRKED. Like, annoyed. She said something like "This just isn't going to work out" in kind of a PO'd voice. I said something like maybe this gave me a few months (until my school schedule changes in Jan) to take a break from therapy....she did not seem too enamored of that.
We ran out of time but I need to ask her WHY she thinks it's so critical for me to be in regualar therapy at this particular time...
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
