I'm back after a long absence

[123snap]

bad day
H and I had a talk today, he said that he isn't feeling "it" that he is worried, that the last 2 weeks have been hard because of this. He has set up another counseling session for himself tomorrow and that is why he asked me to go to couples counseling with him.

I feel like the bomb nearly went off again. He said he doesn't know if he loves me. He did say he isn't giving up or throwing in the towel, but he promised himself he would be honest with me about his feelings.

This is so hard, I feel so lost and hopeless again. I need a major kick in the pants here. I need to bounce and be open to the work. I feel like everytime I open my mouth I make things worse.

I am really needing to talk to someone, but all my friends are busy and not available so ...

maybe I will go for my walk.