Starting again...with a Beginner's Mind

[sage]

Shiny -- Hog away my friend! You're offering good advice!

I agree with the notion that it's circular and interrelated...I know I came into our m. with some pretty strong thoughts about how it should be...(so did he)...we both acted on those...he got feeling trapped..I felt insecure...he felt controlled..I was controlling..he stopped doing stuff around the house...I got angry...he did even less...whatever.

It feeds off of each other.

I know that my anger had a big impact on h.
I know that my attempts to control did too.
I know that his inability to comfort me when I'm feeling scared and alone had an impact on me...
I know that I don't know how to ask for what I need..

h is SO different now in so many ways...it's hard for me to believe it sometimes and believe that it will last...maybe he would say the same thing about me? But, I'm so much happier dropping the rope, without the anger, appreciating and loving him....

Sage