My Heart is Breaking #8

[Truelove]

Hi nlt,
I did the same recently. I took my ring off and put all photos of H and other things away. Like this I am not constantly reminded of H.

Glad you did some things for youself. It sure feels good to have a nice hair cut.

Have a lovely day. (((HUGS)))

[happynow]

Hi True,

Yes, it was getting too long & I couldn't do anything with it, so it feels good now.

It's really hard for me b/c all the jewelry I have H gave it to me. All the rings I wore were of course my wedding set, also 5 & 10 year anniversary rings. I've taken all those off. I had a necklace with a heart on it that I wore all the time that he gave me on our wedding night. They are still in the armoire (H gave to me) & all the earrings & tennis bracelet & watch I still wear. I absolutely loved my wedding set & I can't imagine never wearing it again. We'll just have to see.

I got a new frame today & put a picture of my dogs in it & hung it were the family one was hanging. It doesn't look too bad. I'm just like everyone on here, I never dreamed in a million years that this would be happening to us. In fact a lot of people have told me that we were the last ones that they thought this would happen to b/c they could see the love we had for each other when we were together.

I can't believe that love for me is just gone from him, it still has to be in there somewhere!!

I am managing tho, I'm trying to put things in different places to make it more convenient for me, now I'll never find anything. LOL

I just keep praying & trying not to worry & let God handle it. He is the only one that can deal with my H, not me.

Thanks for posting & checking on me!!
(((HUGS)))

[brandnewday]

- - - - -

Obedience - A Key To Marriage Restoration -

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask
the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with
you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him,
because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him,
for he lives with you and will be in you." John 14:15-17

What is a vital key to your marriage restoration? The answer is
obedience. Your obedience in listening and obeying the Holy
Spirit's voice of instructions in your daily life. I believe
with all my heart, that if you will seek the Lord for His plan
and purpose for your life and marriage, the Lord will speak to
you showing His will and way. That is vital for you to be able
to have the assurance that you are on the right road following
the Lord Jesus Christ for your marriage restoration.

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who
loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too
will love him and show myself to him... Jesus replied, "If
anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love
him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who
does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you
hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent
me. "All this I have spoken while still with you. But the
Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my
name, will teach you all things and will remind you of
everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace
I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let
your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:15-
17,21,23-27

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow
me." John 10:27

Do you know what is one of the most important prayers that you
can pray for your spouse other than for repentance? It is for
their obedience to God. This will take your spouse from hearing
the Lord telling them over and over again to get out of their
situation, to doing it! If we would take a survey of how often
the Lord is speaking to your spouse to come home, almost
guaranteed, they had been told more times than they could count
to get out of their situation. Your husband or wife needs to
obey without reasoning out their circumstances. They need to
repent, turning their life to the Lord asking Him for His help
and directions for their escape. Then God will continue to speak
to them the road of marriage restoration back to you, their
faithful, patient, beloved spouse.

Now you can add another word to your prayer list, your spouse's
obedience. Their disobedience is blocking them coming to the
Lord and back home to you. I do not believe Bob could tell you
how many times the Lord told him to stop doing what he was
doing. God kept calling Bob's name to return to the Lord and to
go home! God did not give up and was persistent. May you be
also in your praying.

"This is how we know that we love the children of God: by
loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for
God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,
for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the
victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it
that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is
the Son of God." I John 5:2-5

You may get upset with your spouse when you read these words,
because you know they are delaying the healing and restoration of
your marriage. Do not forget that they have been blinded and
deceived by the enemy. May I ask you a question? Are you being
obedient to what the Lord has been speaking to your heart? How
many times have you been disobedient and have ignored the wooing
or even the rebuke that the Lord speaks to your heart to do
specific things for His Kingdom? If you will have a prayer life
being devoted to your Lord, He does answer prayers. Are you
obeying, loving, praising and worshiping your Lord daily?

"The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the
righteous." Proverbs 15:29

You and I must be careful that we do not judge others, unless we
examine our own hearts to make sure that we are being obedient to
our Lord Jesus daily and in all areas of our lives. Yes, I mean
every area. How long can you be disobedient to your Lord's voice
and not even fear the consequences of personal disobedience? You
can walk in faith and victory while going through marriage
problems with God as your Husband, Protector, Deliverer, Refuge
and Healer!

Let me use a strong example in the Old Testament in I Samuel,
Chapter 15. God gave instructions to Saul to destroy the
Amalekites who had been the first to oppose God and the nation,
Israel in the desert. They represented evil power and opposition
to God, to His people and to God's truth. Saul did not totally
obey God's instructions and commands by sparing Agag and the best
of the sheep, cattle and everything that was good. Saul
disobeyed and rebelled against God's clear instructions because
he was NOT committed to do God's will with all his heart.

"Then the word of the LORD came to Samuel: "I am grieved that I
have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has
not carried out my instructions." Samuel was troubled, and he
cried out to the LORD all that night." I Samuel 15:10-11

I believe that the Holy Spirit is going to restore many marriages
that are being blocked by disobedience or rebellion against doing
certain things God's way and not your own way. You need to go to
the Lord in prayer and ask Him if there is any disobedience or
rebellion in your own heart against your Lord God. Ask Him if He
has told you to do something and you either have blatantly
refused or have forgotten to obey the Lord's instructions.

Some examples that I can help you with might be: forgiving a
family member, your spouse or another person even though they
keep hurting you, forgive them daily. Another example is being
double-minded about standing and praying for your spouse
regardless of the time. How many times do you question your
Lord? How many times does He keep confirming His promise. Thank
the Lord for His promises and stand firm for your marriage to be
restored! Has the Lord instructed you to do a deed or some work
for someone? Are you flirting with or living in sin thinking
that the Lord does not see or care what you are doing? Let me
continue to tell you the story in I Samuel, what God told Samuel
about King Saul.

"But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings
and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To
obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the
fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and
arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected
the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king." I Samuel
15:22-23

Obedience may seem so simple, until we start following God's
instructions. You and I must pray daily for all prodigals,
regardless of their age, to be obedient to the Lord's voice,
instructions and wooing. I pray that you know in your heart,
regardless of all that you hear and see of your spouse, that the
Holy Spirit is intervening in your and their behalf to turn them
from their sinful lifestyle. God created marriage and He hates
divorce.

"'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they
are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate." When they were in the house
again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He
answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her
husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
Mark 10:7-12

Today, examine your own heart and make sure that you are being
obedient to your Lord so that your own prayers will not be
blocked or hindered by your own disobedience. Obeying God is the
first step on the path to finding peace and joy. Obedience is a
vital key to marriage restoration!

"I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk
in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the
beginning, his command is that you walk in love." 2 John 5-6

Homework:
Look up additional scriptures: Exodus 15:22-27; Deuteronomy 30;
Joshua 1:6-9; Jeremiah 11:4; Psalm 119:1-11; 2 Corinthians 5:7-
10; Romans 6:15-18; Romans 13:1-2; Colossians 3:22-24; Titus 3:1-
2; I Peter 2:13-17; Matthew 5:17-20; Ephesians 6:1; 2
Thessalonians 1:5-8

[glamgirl]

NLT as you know I was m before. I couldn't imagine not wearing my wedding rings, so I bought a nice diamond pearl ring and I wore it on my ring finger for the longest time. It may have been a year or more. Then when I was stronger I had it re-sized and moved it to my right hand.

I still wear that ring today. For me it was a symbol that I was going to make it. It also comforted me in that difficult time.

[happynow]

BND, Thank you so much for sending this to me!!!

Glamgirl, I haven't been wearing my rings since this past fall. I didn't want to take them off but I did. That was a good ideal you had about getting you another ring. I loved my wedding rings so much, I can't believe this has all happened & he is married again!

I'm having a sad day today. Tonight I'm going out for a ladies night out so it should be fun.

[MidwesternGirl]

"Do you know what is one of the most important prayers that you
can pray for your spouse other than for repentance? It is for
their obedience to God."

I do this all the time.

Do you know what H says to me? He says that he prays and it seems like God is not listening or hearing him. I have to bite my tongue so very hard because I want to ask how he thinks God will help answer his prayers if he continues sinning and doing what God says in wrong.

[Truelove]

Hi nlt,
I also got nice jewellery from H but I still wear that. I also still wear my engagement ring as I really love it. I just don't wear my wedding ring anymore.

Good for you that you are going out. It will take your mind off H for a while. Have a lovely evening on your ladies' night and a nice week-end. (((HUGS)))

[glamgirl]

Good for you NLT. I hope you have a nice evening. Try to keep you mind off all that has happened.

[happynow]

SF, True, Glamgirl,

I just got back from my dinner. The girls bought my dinner & a glass of wine for my "belated" birthday. It was so nice. This one girl had worked for the guy that I interviewed with when he was with another company, she is going to call him next week about me.

It was good to get my mind off H, of course we were together for so long that it's hard not to think about him. When I would go out with girls while we were still married, he would always want me to call him when I started home & we would talk all the way b/c he wanted to make sure I was all right. As much as we communicated it sure does make it hard right now. But, I know I'll get used to it.

It is hard not to wear my wedding set, I love it so much! It is the most beautiful set I've ever seen. I hope one day I will be able to wear it again. Right now it doesn't seem like it but you just never know.

SF, I don't know how you keep quite about what your H says!! You are so right God will answer prayers when he stops doing what is wrong.

Thank you all for being here for me!!!!

(((HUGS)))

[MidwesternGirl]

I am glad you had a nice dinner. You ought to do it more often.