Pam,

Thanks for the visit! I think that h and I have been doing great in "asking for what we need" in a lot of different areas -- the place we seem to get stuck still, though, is my asking for reassurances. I do it in a God awful way (top of my lungs or crying or in the middle of the night or just after a wonderful meal or....) and he gets withdrawn, stuck, whatever.

I'm in a mode right now where I'm self-soothing In other words, I'm keeping a careful eye on what keeps me out of my "insecure as hell" zone, doing a lot of self-talk when I do start freaking, pulling out all the DB tricks! You know that I've also been noticing the wonderful positives that h has been doing so that's working great too.

Bottom line is that I still need to "DB" my way through this particular area...my need or want for reassurances of a particular kind and the idea that that seems to bump up against h's need or want to not be pressured or controlled or whatever

SOMEDAY...I'm gonna look around and realize that he's filling up my "safety tank" AND also that when he doesn't, I'm able to ask him for help...just not there yet!

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.