1. went to the sox game with h and my brother. it was POURING when we got out of the car and I had a mild hissy fit about getting drenched. I was kind of a baby about the whole thing but h. handled it (and me!) with much grace and humor.
2. h thanked me for be a "super sexy score keeper" as we were going to bed (he taught me how to "score" baseball games this season so I've been scoring every game we go to!)
3. h thanked me for some stuff that I had done around the house!
*************** I've been listening to "Love must be tough" for the last few days. I'm not that far into it but so far I like it. It talks some about how people end up feeling "trapped" in marriages and try to escape and how the pursuing and clinging of the LBS only proves to make it worse. So far, the book doesn't seem any where near as fleshed out as DB or DR but it's been interesting so far.
I know that h. felt trapped in our m. both from what he said over the years and certainly from what he did. How could he not given my control tendancies and anger?
I've been struggling a bit in my head with how to avoid getting down this rathole again...in the future..whether it's 6 months or 6 years from now.
I guess it comes down to figuring out how to open myself up completely to my m. and to him (a sticking point in the past) while knowing in my heart that nothing is certain (in terms of longevity) and that not only ARE we both free to leave ...well, it's that freedom that might make it more palatable to stay.
Maybe partly the "I'll be ok no matter what happens" idea?
ah, well, I'll continue to muse on this but I'll also keep being happy and grateful for today, this minute.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
