howdy sage aren't you the popular one these days!!! and well deserved you are doing great!!
I was watching a show the other morning...ok so I was flipping channels and came across a station I will only admit to a few that I have watched (the inspirational channel...oh goodness I've become my mil) there was a woman in the interview who had written a book.."look at it this way", she talked about self pity, needing empathy, forgiveness and a whole lot of other things...I thought of you when I listened to her..of course I'm sure some of it must be religious based but can be applied even without "GOD" if you so desire. it may be worth looking into even though you are doing pretty awesome these days!!!
I thought I would hop over here to pick up on some of your threads for a change. It sounds like your R has come a long way. It saddends me a bit to think that if I would have just kept initiating and giving my W some more reassurance, we could be where you guys are today.
A lot of the things you are posting about sound like what we went through 6 years ago after we attended retrouvaille.(BTW have you considered that). It may just cement what you have going right now? So I just want to say, Take good care of what you and your H have going right now. Our M's can be so fragile, especially after infidelity, that if we take them for granted for even a second, we run the risk of losing them forever.
I still have hope for us tho. Even tho W is going full steam ahead with D. I was able to get her to the local Pub for a drink tonight with very minimal R or D talk initiated by her of course. She was feeling bored so I took a chance and asked her out. OOPS, Sorry to hog your thread.
God Bless what you two have. Cherish and nurture it (as I'm sure you will).
You sound like your bubbling with enthusiasm today, its very uplifting to read your posts. Your H truly is changing himself and proving it over and over and its great to see for both of you. Just goes to prove what Michele says, when two people change, the r has to change as well, you guys are living proof of that.
For what its worth Calystra spoke very highly of you last night, as well she should, you continue to be a real positive asset to everybody on this board.
Enjoy your weekend.
Wiley -- thanks so much for the visit and the positive reinforcement! Your note made me feel really good
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quoting lostlove: I was watching a show the other morning...ok so I was flipping channels and came across a station I will only admit to a few that I have watched (the inspirational channel...oh goodness I've become my mil) there was a woman in the interview who had written a book.."look at it this way", she talked about self pity, needing empathy, forgiveness and a whole lot of other things...I thought of you when I listened to her..of course I'm sure some of it must be religious based but can be applied even without "GOD" if you so desire. it may be worth looking into even though you are doing pretty awesome these days!!!
Quoting puckpal: A lot of the things you are posting about sound like what we went through 6 years ago after we attended retrouvaille.(BTW have you considered that). It may just cement what you have going right now? So I just want to say, Take good care of what you and your H have going right now. Our M's can be so fragile, especially after infidelity, that if we take them for granted for even a second, we run the risk of losing them forever.
Puck -- Thanks for coming by...I know you've got so much on your plate right now so I doubly appreciate the visit.
I haven't considered retrouvaille -- I haven't asked in a while but h has historically not been interested/willing to go for "help". That's actually been one of the scariest parts of this whole thing for me...feeling as though we have to do it "alone". (luckily, Michele and all of you guys have been by my side!)
I'm trying VERY hard to be grateful for each day that we have...the frailty of the m. is scary...but so is the strength! I just need to focus on the positive!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Just journalling. Had a really nice weekend. Went to a concert and dinner Friday night, Red Sox saturday. Yesterday was awesome, too -- h played bball in the AM, then we took a LONG walk, watched a movie, grilled supper, etc. It's been, well, amazing, to be with h.
It's not hard to find three positives: 1. h and I made a list last night of things we need to do before we go on vacation this weekend...I talked to h about an hour ago and he had done EVERYTHING on the list.
I have to say that I NEVER (in a million years) thought h would turn into such an active participant in the house stuff. If you had asked me anytime in the last 7 years...I would have laughed right at ya! Now, there's no stopping him.
2. Getting some wonderful hugs and kisses and ILYs.
3. Got a date tonight -- a movie!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
The nice thing about Retrouvaille (I found) is they have couples presenting that have gone through what a majority of us are experienceing in our lives. They are not proffessionals so it is real life "talks" as they call it from real life ordinary people.
They feed you pretty well so thats a plus too. Most are at local hotels, but ours was at St. Johns Seminary, which was nice too. If you have any questions about it let me know, I would be happy to share all I can. They normally don't tell you much up front about exactly what they do, but thats by design. I think they like to have couples go in without any preconcieved expectations.
BTW-things are going pretty OK w/me thanks to some of your tips.
It just sounds so awesome how your H has turned around. That is something I felt my H was never good at was getting things done around the house. Probably because I never dropped the rope?
Have a good date. I know you won't blow yours like I did my last one with junk emotional thinking! I LOVE reading all the positive interactions going on here.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I know you won't blow yours like I did my last one with junk emotional thinking!