Oh, it all makes sense. Yes, the old R is dead and good riddance.
Here is what I decided. If in February when we go to Hawaii for her cousin's wedding I haven't seen any substantive changes on her part and movement toward building a wonderful new relationship, then, I will close the door 99% on this marriage and work with W to divorce. Once divorced, until one of us is in a committed long term relationship, I will be open to the possibility of building a new relationship together. I will say that I don't believe that my wife is saying bad things about me to friends and relatives. I would think that if you and your wife got back together, she can inform the friends that you are in fact not an alien and that she was mistaken.
For my part, I've gone from a place where I didn't believe that I had other options to a place where there is an abundance of options available to me whenever I want. Because I'm still married and DB, I am very careful about what I do and how far I will push things.
