My friend and I ordered in and sat by my pool to eat while I filled her in on the past 16+ months of my life. She was flabbergasted. She doesn't know how I held that in all that time. She understood that with her H and my H being friends, it would have been hard. She also understood that I had hoped my H would turn himself around and there would have been no need for anyone to know anything. Apparently my H had never confided in her H about anything - that is what I would have expected. My H doesn't talk much about his internal feelings to friends.
So my friend left to go home, my big house seemed so empty. I got a good cry out and started writing in my journal until I stopped crying. I read my book and then fell asleep. I actually didn't wake at all until 4:30!
Morning wasn't bad at all. It was kind of nice just getting myself ready for work - although I would trade that in a minute for my intact family back.
I will think about my ring more. Whatever I decide, will be for me and not have anything to do with how H may interpret it.
If I take my ring off, it won't be because I am not standing or I am ready to date. It will be a symbol to me and for me of letting go, moving forward but with an option for a reconnection, if that is what is meant to happen.
peace, it is odd how your H is just so totally checked out. I am sure there is so much more going on in his head than he lets on.
lmg, I was wondering where you have been!
I'm glad your kids seem to be doing well too. "unnervingly so" is how I would describe mine as well My D11 looks somewhat sad, but she hasn't asked any questions or made any comments yet. I will continue to try and gently get her to open up, but I don't want to push her at all if she feels she has nothing to say. S9 is so sweet to me, he didn't want to leave my side the day we told them. But he did keep asking me when he gets to go play pool at daddy's place - UGH - knife to the heart that I didn't let on to.
My D11 is also starting at a new school. I think H and I have worked out a complicated plan for getting each of them where they need to be, from his place and our home on the different days. H is being very accomodating and helpful, more than he ever has. I do wonder if it will last.
upside, how do I know if I am processing all of this?
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
