Your goals are GREAT!! I know I spend too much time reading the board and not enough time doing the written work/goals. I sooo agree with feeling that control = safety/security. I have tried and continue to try to release control. I know it is so important. Keep up the good work!! I can't wait to jump to piecing one day! nik
Hi Sage! The title of your thread caught my eye! It seems like you are doing a fantastic job!!! I am still in Newcomers, but would love to move to piecing someday! I agree with you, it is easy to read threads here and not work on goals. You have inspired me to re-do some of my goals!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Thank you, I've been lurking and learning much over the last several months. This BB has been a true blessing for me. I appreciate your and really everyone's willingness to share their inner thoughts and am now trying to contribute.
I just started working on documenting/journaling my sitch for my own record, but still not sure about starting a thread just yet.
Sage: What a great post...!!... i used to post on midlifecrisis forum, even my h and i are working on our M after a secnd separation... Today i passed by this forum, stop on your thread, and you had motivated me to beguin my own journal goals thread... I identify with you in so many points... specially in my need to receive reassurence from him and telling this to him again and again, instead of looking his acts, his working oriented actions... Thanks sage for inspiring me... good luck, you are doing so great.... and if you can stp in my thread after i post it.... again, thanks for sharing your feelings and tools with us... yes, we need a beguiners mind to really makes our M work... Andrea
Excuse my english faults, bc i am an spanish girl...
Hey everyone -- Thanks so much to my new and old friends for stopping by! I'm loving the positive feedback (bottomless pit that I am!).
Three positives: 1. H has been SO GREAT calling me from work. It really makes me feel good to hear from him.
2. H has been telling me details of his day, talks about the people that he's been working with, etc.
3. H asked for a "passionate kiss and a big squeeze" yesterday.
4. H toasted his "beautiful wife" when we went out to dinner last night.
Have a good weekend planned -- concert and dinner tonight, painting tomorrow (unless we can convince LL to come over and do it!) and lunch with h's mom, Sox game tomorrow night....
I alluded to feeling a bit hepped up earlier this week and feeling as though I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and h. I've been doing well on that and h has certainly been great, too. I think what I was running up against was fears around the future -- I never want to go through this again and it sometimes scares the hell out of me to think that we may have a predispostion towards it...an ASSumption, I know.
Gonna relax and take it easy this weekend!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
1. I need to accept and know each day more the new man my h has come to be
Ah, how have I been missing this? I've been appreicative of his actions but I've missed the point that h is doing his own 180s, working on himself and our m. has improved as a result.
What are some of the changes: h is more verbal -- lots of ILYs h is more physical, including PDAs! h is more open about the details of his day h is more open about his interests h is more involved in our home -- he cleans, cooks, does errands, makes decisions, all kinds of stuff! h is more decisive about our lives h is more open about telling me how he feels h is more open about telling me what he wants h asks me more questions than he used to h gives me advice when I need it more...
2. Doing things around the house NOW as opposed to waiting
Ya know I'm working on this! This is a biggie to me and to h.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
You sound like your bubbling with enthusiasm today, its very uplifting to read your posts. Your H truly is changing himself and proving it over and over and its great to see for both of you. Just goes to prove what Michele says, when two people change, the r has to change as well, you guys are living proof of that.
For what its worth Calystra spoke very highly of you last night, as well she should, you continue to be a real positive asset to everybody on this board.
