"The other advice would be to keep the past in the past. The old R is gone, stuff that happened in the old R is gone.....so no getting defensive or attacking one another. Actually talk about this ahead of time"
ok-so when do i say this? i did say we can have a new start with a new vows even..he smiled. he was touching my ring all weekend too- i didnt ask about his...i said ive been wearing it the whole time- he said i noticed.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I am sooooooo Happy for you!! I knoe you have lots of worries but keep up the great job. learn from the worry and don't let them run your life and it will all fall into place. you have already become the person he needs you to be just trust in that.
And TD your list is pretty spot on. I am sure respect should be on there somewhere but order pretty much sums us up.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Sounds like you had a fabulous trip camping!!! Maybe we all should go camping with our WAS's. Hell, I'd go if it meant my XH would be almost home like yours is!
I think right now you need to lay back a bit and not bring up the R. He is so obfviously interested in talking about it so its best to let him bring it up again so he's comfortable with the time and place.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
It is kind of generic list. It is actually pssible for a man to have one of the main female needs in his top 5, it is really dependent upon the person. From what I remember from the book, respect is actually under admiration
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Thanks JWS and Jen!! i will slow down and just go at my H's pace. that has worked really well for me so i'll continue to do this.
now that i think of it- i did say we know what didnt work- so lets look at what we can do differently...and i asked what he thought we could do differently and he said he had a lot to digest (in the car) - then we got home and he opened up more (in the hot tub) or shall i call it a therapy tub!
so i really need to just take his lead and let him address what he needs to when he needs to.
amazing!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I invited H over for dinner last night and he came over after he cleaned up from a run and he looked soooooooooooooooo good! he brought a bottle of wine- how sweet! we just hung out and of course went in the hot tub- no funny business....just talked. nothing about our R. he went "home" after....he said he isnt ready to stay yet....
i feel warm and fuzzy! i just have to maintain self control and keep it steady...
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
That sounds amazing-you are so close and it really sounds like your H is very respectful, doing things slowly, but still sending all the right signals..wine, the hot tub-wow! So he's not ready to stay "yet" which implies he thinks he will be at some point.
Way to go! ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Thanks ITH- i know- i cant wait for the YET to become a present tense! Although I can recall many times where I would just have died to hear him say YET! and here we are....wow.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
