Memories keep sneaking in....I still miss him!

[Treese]

SF....I know and he gets to me every time....I thought I was getting better at it but apparently not....

I should have just said have a good time but it hits you like a ton of bricks....he has just managed to really beat me down...

makes you want to throw in the towel.....throw the white flag...give them what they want....

sometimes there are days when I wish one of us wasn't here....it hurts so bad....the pain...even after a year it still gets to me.....when does it get better.....I am getting a life...I am doing what I thought was right but then it always comes back to this.....and makes me ill......litterally ill....

he just smiles all the time and is so excited and can't wait to go see his OW.....I wish I had that love again....

sorry....just feeling sorry for myself I guess.....some day I hope to be happy again....

just had to vent...