I think where is right, to start. Before you go in this direction, you need to be ready for anything.
OK, don't ask him why he stopped phoning, I expect he doesn't even realize that he has stopped phoning! I don't think I'd ask him what he is afraid of, either.
How about just this part:
Quote:
the truth is I have enjoyed spending time with you these past 6 months, you are my best friend and I miss you.
I'm trying to let you tell him how you feel, without putting so much pressure on him that he has no choice but to run.
I'm not sure it is the best DB course, but then again, your situation isn't exactly a DB situation. And it may be the best course to save your sanity, which isn't a terrible idea.
I'll have more later, I imagine, but I don't know if it will be in time!
Thankyou!! All good points. Where, I hadnt thought of that, and I am kind of fragile.
Jeff - good point too, he may not realise the gap in phoning as starkly as I notice it. And my friend says you can only ever talk about yourself and your own emotions so I cant point the finger at him. I could be more open about missing him (I havent used the word "miss" you since 22nd December). My stars are all urging tell someone how you feel before its too late and the other person may not realise how you feel and give up. But then, he's already backed off and made his choices so...
He is also not feeling good and very wrapped up in himself. He emailed me at 4, its ok, but theres something about it like he has closed down to me? He's talking about a long shot of a job in Cornwall. Here it is:
fingers crosserd that some programming will come out of that then.
yeah, was a bit grim, actually feeling quite ropey today (stiff neck, headache and sore throat etc). no news on the job yet, will hassle john later to see if he's heard anything.
will give you a call later.
me
Seriously, help guys..its not a real DB thing is it, as he was a WAS with depression and no OW (and probs not MLC) and we have been very close, but then..nothing. And I feel like I have to do SOMETHING.
He sounds distant and like he may not meet me later anyway, being sick. Its a little unfriendly?
I'm not a mind reader but it does sound like he may not be meeting you later after all. When he says he'll give you a call later. At least that's my perception. I would think he'd say something like I'll stop by later to sign the lease.. but then I'm not British so sometimes I don't know what I'm reading. Like "ropey".. I've never heard that term. Does that mean he's feeling pants?
Hi Ali, if you met I hope it goes ok-ish. Sounds like he may not meet after all with th email. BUT and I have said this before, ask questions if you must BUT be ready for his answers! Honestly though I don't think you have much of a choice,You need some answers some closure. Can you get much lower than your feeling already? Can you "play" this in you head anymore than you are doing? I vote you do the lease thingy, then tell him your little speil about your feelings,maybe add that you have been very hurt by his lack of contact after so much. Then play it by his responses as to wether or not you ask your questions.
They all seem to suffer from poor health when they first leave and whilst you don't want to appear unsympathetic you also need to do the lease and end your imaginative speculations. Could you offer to go to his place and save him driving? Be strong and know what you want to say. Take care.
Hi Where...yes, I think he is trying to get out of meeting me. And ropey is like rubbish, pants, yes! I havent seen him for 2 weeks last Wednesday, so he obviously isnt missing me. Or he's really depressed..but that doesnt explain his abscence anymore, like it did, as we had built up a raport since.
Jeff, thankyou. Its funny how someone can 'get' to you so much.
Hi naej...he was suffering from depresion before he left and basically, he is no longer looking after himself and is run down (he admits it himself). He did well to begin with cooking for himself, but I'm not so sure now. He is drinking alot and not sleeping so is very tired. He's burning the candle both ends and he is 35 next week, so cant do it anymore, thats why hes ill often or feels ill. I cant go to his place, he wont let me. I'm not sure I know what I want to say. I just feel so nervous now after not speaking to him for 8 days and not seeing him for just over 2 weeks, its like we're back at square one. I felt more sure of myself with him before, I KNEW he would call me and ask me how I was and want to meet up, as it had been taht way for several months. Now, anything goes. In fact, now, I assume we are going to NOT see each otehr, once this lease is signed.
So be it. I love him, but I give up! I thkn that will be obvious when we do meet...maybe we will end up meeting at the weekend, on that lunar eclipse. Its the end of whatever started on the eclipse Feb 1999 (our first kiss and we started dating proper as opposed to just meeting for lunch and talking about dating).
It was love at first sight for him though, back in 1996, so we have had our ups and downs over the years. A little part of me wonders if we could reunite in the future, considering our amazing synastry...but I cant see it. He may meet someone else soon, or has already, who knows.
Breathe slowly and deeply now. Oh lunar eclipse,Feb 99. That was about the time I suspect my h started to re evaluate his life and found my replacement so maybe I will hear some "news" Strange because my d told me she had had a weird email from her Dad (3rd in 10years) I asked why weird 'cos she had just sent him a pic of her son and she replied it was chatty!!!! Now for my x 2lines is a letter. He just doesn't do chit chat!
Are you breathing slowly and deeply? Do not assume anything. Be yourself. What will be will be. As an aside do you find knowing what the starts are doing affects what you do or don't do because you know the end result?
Hey naej, no, not at all...else I wouldmt have run myself ragged this past year! We do have free will and also, theres two ways thinks can play out often (as in Saturn transts - planet of commitment, can mean splitting up OR getting married - two sides of the same coin) so no.
I have an eclipse in my 7th house..so SHOULD mean a new romance and then a New Moon in my 7th house, ditto. Then another eclipse next Feb on my Venus - again, new romance. You head it here first! I'd like to thikn it was a new R with him, but pigs would fly.
Interesting about your H..did you ask your D to read the email to you? I would want to read it.
Well 7.30 and still no call..typically on these weeknights when we were going for a drink, he always rang before now. So, not meeting me obvsiously, or briefly. I bet he will ring later and say sorry...was tird...ill...just got in...avoiding me. So clearly its OVER.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Oooh.. Ali.. cosmically it sounds like you have a lot of positive romance coming in your future!!!!! Sounds exciting!!!!!
Hope you have a good night's sleep tonight.. and maybe treat yourself to some ice cream... I don't know how but it does help a little when I'm feeling low.
Never helps me! I never understood that one. Poppadoms and a jar of mango chutney on the other hand. Well, I met him when I had an eclipse in my 1st/7th and this one is falling in the same place, not sure if it really means end of our connection though. I cant imagine going out with anyone else, seems like I would be headed for a fall again. Despite my best efforts, every man that I have ever loved has left me or behaved so as I had no choice to leave them..kind of constructive dismissal.
Anyway, a very excellent astrologer on the web said this for all signs for next week (Sat 16 - 25)
so here comes the lunar eclipse sometimes called the dropping of the other shoe if you've been waiting for something to happen or feel like you've been living in limbo you're right there is a hush that's fallen over your life everybody's life in fact we're all waiting for the direct motion of Pluto in a couple of weeks and at the moment those who feel unloved or unappreciated or who have been seeking something that isn't there will wake up, grow up and face their responsibilities now and know that you can wait for something that doesn't exist at least not yet so you have to get over yourself and own up to your responsibilities and that's what makes your life your life
8.20 and he hasnt called. What a turnaround hey? I guess I could see it coming but I could hardly believe it. 10 years down the drain. God, if I'd known then what I know now, would I have bothered? I suppose I got my house out of it (back home, about to get rerented, I'm not sure what will happen but I know he would want me to buy him out and let me have it, rather than him. And theres no way he'd force me to sell). The horrible thing is, I know he is sat there dreading calling me and putting it off, he literally no longer wants to speak to me I guess.
The funny thing is, we still have to meet.. so if not tonight, he wont on Friday night (never met me on a Friday since he left 9 months ago). So that leaves Saturday... on the lunar eclipse, exact our Sun-Moon conjunction. In the same spot but in reverse, on our first kiss all those years ago. And I will speak up. And he will tell me... "Oh Al...I dont love you anymore, I just want to be on my own...". What a reversal...back then I wasnt wanting to be with him...but he never gave up for months and months, and we met and we talked and I hedged..and then he kissed me in an alley way behind a pub one Saturday lunchtime whilst I was holding my bicycle...and my stomach somersaulted and then I ran off.
I wish I could go back and tell her to take the upmost care in this relationship from the start, because it will end horribly and you will be heartbroken and reproach yourself for all those times you behaved badly.
8.30 no call. We were usually in the pub by now, chatting.
