I'm excited to go but a bit nervous as it's a family function. Gotta break that to see if he runs the other way :P
That whole trusting building thing is a process one step at a time and it takes time to develop an R based on mutual trust and respect - friendship or otherwise.
That is something I learned post D as a part of setting boundaries and valuing my own needs. If your fella accepted the invitation - he probably won't run. So he gets to move to the next level - sounds like a video game.
BThere:
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I find myself taking the opposite role from what I used to...example: I was always the packer and organizer. He is even more so.
I am the same way - the organized one - always responsible. It is nice to let the other person do some of this stuff and just sit back and relax. I miss that part of being in an R - just letting the other person carry some of the stuff while I just enjoy not having to do it myself.
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Friend relationships with men...now there's a topic. I have some male friends. Sometimes they are the easiest relationships to have.
One of my friends brought up a good point recently. She said that my expectations are out of whack with respect to R's b/c I expect that ease of conversation that I have with my male girlfriends to be the minimum standard for dating someone. And that is an unreasonable standard. She is right. I need to accept that there will be that whole "getting to know each other phase" before the whole ease of conversation phase. I think I am getting lazy and looking for the easy button in my old age.
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I do have to admit though, When you're single, it's hard not to look at men without that thought popping into your head. Hmm, he's cute, funny, nice...wonder if he's single.
I know I feel like such a hypocrite. I say I want a man that takes the time to get to know me. Yet, at the same time while I do not want him to make any moves too soon - I want to feel chemistry. And well he has to make the move at the right time - not wait too long. And then of course, there is that superficial part - where I saw a guy jogging downtown and did a double take and was ready to start jogging after him. And of course if I did jog after him and catch up with him - I would expect him to behave like a gentleman and overlook that I was acting like a brazen hussy! LOL!
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I think you can tell when the chemistry is there and when it's not. I certainly don't think every guy is hitting on me, but I can tell when one is. Sometimes it's for real, sometimes it's just a game they play. I don't think it's all bad. Sometimes it's just lighthearted play,
My C tells me to trust what I am feeling. I am use to second guessing myself. And I am starting to agree with NHill about the value of playful flirting. Yes, NHill - I am helping myself to a few more helpings of crow!
Yesterday, I was at the pet store and standing behind this man that had the most adorable puppy. I love animals so of course I just had to pet the puppy and scratch his tummy. When I walked out to my car - he drove by me slowly with the puppy on his lap and yelled out - the puppy told me to drive this way - she wanted to say good bye to you.
That made me smile. Just playful flirting that really is not meant to go anywhere.
I don't mind that. I don't feel comfortable around sexual innuendo or sexual comments - especially if they feel personal towards me.
That being said - I have girlfriends that dive right into suggestive and sometimes aggresive sexual dialogue when they meet a guy. They do the hair flip and touching thing. Sometimes they really are interested in the guy - and sometimes they are just being a tease.
No wonder men are confused.
I have hidden in my hermit habitat for five years. Thanks KS and Bthere for these posts. They are helpful to me as I venture out of my cocoon.
I miss that part of being in an R - just letting the other person carry some of the stuff while I just enjoy not having to do it myself.
