peace- I am sorry to hear about your accident but thankfully no one was hurt. It is nice that your H is helping you out...he does still seem to be there for you at times. I can see how it would give you mixed feelings. If you can, appreciate what your H is able to give you and move forward. I know it has to be hard.
I can only imagine the grief you are feeling...it seems so unfair what you have had do endure. I agree that it is good that you are talking to a grief pastor. Hopefully he has some good information to help you. When bad things have happened in my life, I think about what God wants me to learn from the experience...it seemed to help me when I focused on any silver linings I could find.
Things will get better. You will work through this and heal and be a stronger person for it. Allow yourself the time to grieve and heal...it does take time to process everything...don't try to rush it or avoid it because it could come back to haunt you later.
