Starting again...with a Beginner's Mind

[sage]

My horoscope for today:
What's next? There's only one way to find out. Take the step you are being invited to take. Follow the road that you now seem to be travelling down. Stop worrying about what you don't know. Sometimes, it isn't essential to have the answer to everything before you do anything. Sometimes indeed, you just can't learn what you need to learn unless you accept that there is something you really don't know. You DO know something. You know that there is something you need to find out! So trust this and take appropriate action. Be open-minded and you will soon end up open-hearted too.

Had another good night with h. I got home from work and he was excited to see me. We went out for drinks and food. We had a really good talk about movies and books and the kittens and....2 pretty interesting things came up....

1. h's mom called a few weeks ago and h told me that she sounded down. I had suggested that he go see her (she's local) or that we make a plan. he hasn't exactly jumped at the idea. Last night I asked about her. I said "have you noticed that your mom goes through down cycles?" and he said "yes". I asked if he had talked with her and he said No...that he was kind of waiting for her to get out of the down cycle. NOW, don't get the wrong idea. h. wasn't being jerky AT ALL. I just thought it was VERY interesting that he didn't want to interact with her in her current state. I didn't ask why (trust me...a little at a time is my best bet here) but it kind of resonates with how he might view interacting with ME when I'm down?

2. During our talk about movies, h. told me that his favorite movies are about flawed characters who try to change (y'all may remember his stance on "people can't change"). He likes the underdog; the person who gets beaten back by circumstances (I guess that's when he's feeling tragic!). Anyway, there's so much depth and sensitivity and vulnerability to my h....why can't I remember that when I'm hurting? That he's hurting too?

Good things:
H was psyched to see me
H suggested "a plan"
H and I had a great conversation
H is "surprising me" by picking up food for tonight (I have a C appt. )
H has guard this weekend so we're going to put together a list of stuff he needs me to do -- this is a nice partnership feeling!

Sage