Starting again...with a Beginner's Mind

[sage]

Wow. Can't believe I didn't post on my own thread today.

Had a good night with h. last night -- we went out to see the new Terminator movie and had dinner. h. seemed kind of quiet at dinner but it turns out he had a bad headache. Note to self -- h definitely withdraws when he's not feeling well. (me? I'm moaning and groaning and in your face!) Came home, relaxed, watched tv. Some great ILYs and hugs from him.

I'm procrastinating on attacking my list WHY????? Partly I think I'm overwhelmed by it. It's silly...I think I'm afraid that I'll miss something fundamental, key, critical! But, I can keep adding -- needs change and grow, right? arrgh. I'm frustrated with myself!

Even more so because I KNOW so many of the things that work for us --

me dropping expecatations (of his reactions)
Just letting him BE -- in his quiet, his thoughts, his ideas
Not asking for explanations -- letting him provide
Managing myself and my own reactions
Treating him, talking with him like a friend
Keeping my own PMA up -- exercise, diet, etc
Dropping the rope and letting him plan, him initiate
Appreciating and thanking him for what he does
Not directly asking for reassurance. Seeing it through action
Going to movies, dinner, drinks. Hiking. Walking.
Holding hands. Hugging.
Rituals -- champagne
Laughing together
Watching baseball. watching movies at home.
Listening to him. Letting him talk.
Knowing that he's on my side.
Being direct
Not interpreting his moods
Not ASSuming. Taking his words at face value.

More to come...
Sage