God give me the patience and the strength...6

[MidwesternGirl]

but you are assuming things that may not be real or true. let it go

[glamgirl]

Steelers is right. You don't know the unknown. You wouldn't want the old M anyway that is done and it's in the past.

Let go and find yourself. You only have yourself and your kids right now. Show your h how strong you are by becoming a new you.

Your h can't miss you, because you don't ever give that to him.

[theotherhalf]

your right, I don't want the old M and it is over. What I "want" is a second chance to make a new and better life. and I "want" my H included in that life.

But as we all know, what we want and what we get is 2 different things...

You don't miss those things you don't want...and you can't miss those that you forgot exist. And I've tried to stay away so maybe he might. But then he comes around. This is just impossible. Nothing works. It's all so pointless.

[MidwesternGirl]

nothing works because you have not given it time to work.

[a new 2moro]

But then he comes around

UHMMMM...NO HE DOESNT YOU PURSUE HIM RELENTLESSLY, HE COMES OUT TO DO WORK ON THE FARM AND AND YOU FOLLOW HIM LIKE A PUPPY...YOU GO TO HIS HOME, YOU NEVER GIVE HIM ANY SPACE AT ALL....MLC TAKES TIME TOH, HE CANT GO THRU THIS JOURNEY UNTIL YOU LEAVE HIM BE. YOU MUST LEAVE HIM ALONE...I KEEP SAYING EVERY CONTACT AND SITUATION YOU GET INTO WITH HIM PROLONGS HIS JOURNEY.

[theotherhalf]

no an2m, there is no work for him in the house. What I am talking about is him coming out to just come in and hang out which is what he did last weekend. He walks in, gets a drink and sits down. Or when he hangs out for supper. Etc...

I love having him here. But it just confuses me. And it still hurts so bad everytime he leaves...

[theotherhalf]

and this is thurs, I have not made ANY contact with my H since Mon after work, that was only to get the lawn mower and it was short and to the point. As far as that goes, I have not INITIATED any contact w/my H since Aug.4th. (except for the 9th which was our annv. and couldn't not). Any and all contact with him has been made by him.

today he called me at work. he was here and wanted to know if I cared if he gave the old play house to great N. We talked a little, he was making conv. not me (first time). I ended it short by saying I had to go. Of course I wanted to talk to him more but, really nothing to say. I realized on my way home tonight that normally on a thurs. night, i would call to see what he is doing tonight. to see if there was a chance we could get together. i would especially want to call him beings i only talked to a short while earlier.

well, there will be no phone calls to him from me. guaranteed.

[a new 2moro]

I wasnt yelling I was at work.....its in caps...but GOOD...now be busy when he comes to hang out. be doing something in another room.....dare to have plans leave and go to library to read(he doesnt have to know that!!!!) i know you think if hes coming around...its a good sign...hes waking up....NOT, you convince yourself this everytime and then it all blows up.

good to end convo first. now dont answer the phone everytime, dont return every call. The fact you are so needy is a turn off. my guess he is cake -eating big time keeping you on a string drawn in just enough so if ow doesnt work out.....

time means years..not days or weeks....IF you left him alone NC except girls and farm....he "might cook" faster...but that is might. I know that is when my H started to turn around when i went to NC.....he came to our farm to do things, i didnt allow him in the house for about 3 months.

[theotherhalf]

an2m, I know you weren't yelling, neither was I. and read back thru my threads (i know too pathetic) any way as much as I've pursued and all that I've done this stuff too. I just haven't stopped the initiating till now. I'm telling you this sitch is hopeless.

as far as the cake-eating...he pretty much told me that was what he was doing on our camping trip. he said that this is something that he had to do and he was afraid to get the D in case it really wasn't what he wanted. he didn't want to make that mistake. but he ended that conv. with "though we are still going to probably get divorced".

[a new 2moro]

though we are still going to probably get divorced".

my H said that everytime we talked about anything he always ended with that.

you just have to leave him alone to do his thing...did you see the pattern i was talking about?