Thanks Dawn. Good advice. I am just going to keep following it. I have to really get this right. I do know many of what my h's triggers are. He did mention the closet cleaning again today. So I will be working on that.
You're welcome, glam! This 180 is HUGE for you (IMHO) and you deserve congratulations!
Closet cleaning...you know about Flylady ( http://www.flylady.net ), right? Working with her principles has had a MAJOR effect on my house and on me! Before Flylady (I started in December 2002), I was a perfectionistic, procrastinating clutterbug slob...now I'm just a recovering procrastinating perfectionist! (Hey, two out of four ain't bad!) The difficulty people have with Flylady, I think, is that they refuse to try her suggestions because they don't think they will work. I'm proof (and so are about 700,000 other people) that they do, if you just suspend disbelief and follow along with her plan long enough to see whether this stuff really works or not. I know I sound like a religious fanatic, but this has made such a huge difference in my life that I always want to challenge people by saying, "Try Flylady--that means wholeheartedly work with the system, don't just *pretend* that you are trying--for a full month, and see if you can PROVE that it won't help you." The thing is, people start working with Flylady to get their homes in order, and eventually they discover that it's not just their homes, but their *minds* that are getting straightened out...it really helps you stop spinning and wallowing in the murk of life and self-doubt. Okay, I'll step off that soapbox for now...sorry for wandering off there!
If you know his triggers, that's good...don't forget that you want to focus on things that you think would be good for YOU, and in YOUR best interests overall...and if he likes them, that's a bonus! Hopefully you can envision how much better you will feel once you can actually find things in your closet without any fuss or struggle!
Originally Posted By: glamgirl
Now I just need to figure out how to get my h to move home! I am sure it's patience glam.
You know the correct answer to that as well as anyone else, I'm sure...shine so brightly that he can't resist being drawn back to you!
I've been following you around on the board for the last hour or so (not stalking, honestly! I just go to the top thread that has posts I haven't read, and there you are again!). Well, it's now 4:30 a.m. and I'm way overdue to turn in for the night (uh, what's left of it...I think the birds are going to start singing pretty soon)! So, without further ado...
'Night, John Boy! 'Night, Mary Ellen!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
The difficulty people have with Flylady, I think, is that they refuse to try her suggestions because they don't think they will work. I'm proof (and so are about 700,000 other people) that they do, if you just suspend disbelief and follow along with her plan long enough to see whether this stuff really works or not. I know I sound like a religious fanatic, but this has made such a huge difference in my life that I always want to challenge people by saying, "Try Flylady--that means wholeheartedly work with the system, don't just *pretend* that you are trying--for a full month, and see if you can PROVE that it won't help you." The thing is, people start working with Flylady to get their homes in order, and eventually they discover that it's not just their homes, but their *minds* that are getting straightened out...it really helps you stop spinning and wallowing in the murk of life and self-doubt. Okay, I'll step off that soapbox for now...sorry for wandering off there! 
