I saw your post on my thread and read over your sitch. It does sound like we have a bit in common. I'm sorry to say!
The first thing I thought of is the saying: Believe nothing they say and only 50% of what they do.
You have probably read it many times but I find that no matter how often I see it, it always helps me refocus. Even now as I say it to you I am realizing that is what I need to do right now! It's so hard though and I totally get that.
I myself am a 22 year old female and cannot imagine having a child at this age. That must be a lot of stress, especially if it was not a planned pregnancy (which I am assuming it was not, correct me if I am wrong.) You said she is a good mother and that is good to hear. I have a lot of friends my age with babies and some of them scare me to death! I just womder how much having a baby so young is adding to this. I get in these funks where I just want to run away from all of my responsibilities (bills, working, family obligations, etc) and I am a level headed person who does not really do the "get crazy and party down" thing. So I wonder if having the huge responsibility of a small child weighs into this predicament. Just a thought.
I did want to know if your wife knows about the changes to your job schedual? Have you mentioned it to her? I sometimes felt like I was being abandoned by my husband when he would go out with his friends even if I wanted him home (like during a thunder storm or something) Granted your reason of being at work is much more practical but sometimes us women don't see it that way. We think "I want him home and he won't come here and be with me" no matter why he won't/can't. I just wonder if a life with you would be more appealing if she knew that your schedual was changing and you could be there with her/for her more often than in the past. Again. . .just a thought.
I think you will get a lot of great advice here on this board. My two cents would be GAL (like everyone has already said) I personally am struggling with that too. It's so hard to save a space for them in your life (praying they come home someday) and yet not let the focus of your life be saving that space. Does that make any sense? I get too wrapped up in making plans for my future and trying to structure my life around "well when/if we get back together then this would be best. . ." I need to learn to just go out and do my own thing and stop thinking about my husband 24/7. I think that like others have said, you need to shift that focus to building a strong foundation with your son and enforcing that bond so that (heaven forbid) you and your wife do divorce you still have a connection with him that will endure the hard times ahead.
Sorry for the long post. I hope that parts of it can help you and you try to sort through all the madness!
