I've been home sick today and part of yesterday. I can't seem to shake this darn summer cold.
Bethie, I tried the Neti pot. It sure seemed to ease a lot of the pain in my nasal sinuses, but now the cold's gone down in my chest and I've about lost my voice. I'll keep trying it, however, to flush out the rhinoviruses that might return.
I had a long conversation with W this afternoon... or at least as much of one as I could given I could barely speak myself. I guess W liked having a somewhat "captive " audience, especially one that was not inclined to talk back to her. Why I let her carry on, I don't know. She discussed a bunch of things concerning the kids, and that's why I let her run with it. It was thus a relatively peaceful conversation as such. But she managed to lodge a few points that were back to her own selfish interests.
The closest I came to taking a more confrontational tact with her was when she began suggesting that if the house was empty after she vacates it in September -- because she is still wanting to move out and into an apartment no matter if the house is sold or not (go figure. she's insane.) -- and since I need to find a cheaper place to live, then I could move back into the house until it sells.
I was incredulous, and said, "What? You think I should move back into the house only to have to turn around and move yet again once the house is sold?"
She tried to rationalize saying, it made no sense for me to have to continue to pay for half the mortgage and then for an apartment on top of that. I laughed at the hypocrisy of what she was saying. I said, "You don't get it. Why do you think I volunteered to move out in the first place? So our sons will continue to have a roof over their head that is also a safe, secure and familiar place during all this upheaval. But you're willing to forgo that and have yourself pay for both part of a mortgage and for rent on an apartment?"
Then she tried to argue from the standpoint that this prospective apartment complex was filling up fast and she wanted to make sure she was going to find a place close enough that S7 could still stay at the current school. First of all that makes little sense because (1) there are beaucoup apartments being built and opening up all over the immediate area every day and (2) my own current apartment already qualifies for S7 staying right where he is for school.
She's grasping at straws now. I had already said she could stay in the house with our kids until it was sold, but she obviously wants out of it now. She just wants to play bachelorette and won't admit that's her real desire for getting out of what is really a cushy deal for her otherwise.
I didn't press it, but she could see now where I'm coming from, that she's being irrational and shooting herself in the foot.
She also wanted to make sure I would be around on the weekend of the 23rd since the realtor had scheduled an open house for that Sunday. She is planning to be out of town that weekend -- she's going to the beach for her birthday (her actual birthday is really on the following Thursday.) Naturally, I suspect this is yet another of her romantic getaways with the OM. It still stings quite a lot, but I think I'm doing well so far -- I have detached enough of late to realize that the further erosion of her soul has been insulated from my own to a large degree. So I said nothing. I have learned that I can no longer be accountable for her fate or her poor choices in life.
And then W mentioned something about having seen a lawyer, assumably to put one on retainer, and asked that I supply her L with the info for my atty. I told her I had a business card already that my L wanted me to give her L once I knew W had one in hire.
W began again to discuss some of the terms for the settlement. She actually still thinks she can call all the shots, draft up an agreement, and then have me simply sign her document or not. It never seems to enter her one-track mind that I have my own terms I insist on bringing to the table.
W then opined about how she wished I could have been reasonable with the so-called mediator she chose (I kept my mouth shut), and that because of that ( because I was just so unreasonable) all these additional costs for these lawyers were going to prove very costly to us (her) -- and that it was going to cost our S's financially as well, sadly, money that could have gone to them instead.
Oh, frakking boohoo! As if I was the one who wants this D! As if her breaking up our family is not going to cost our S's dearly, on all levels, as well.
I was so ready to get off that call by that time, I was so peeved. I was not feeling well already, and I did admirably well not to be drawn into any of her land-mined terrain, but her spew was straining my remarkably calm composure. She still holds to this pretense that she's an above-average nice, respectable and trustworthy person, when it is most painfully not so, not this alien. But I gave her nothing in this latest exchange and did not allow her to pull me into another conflagration. I got off the phone laughing hysterically with anger and pain (if that makes any sense) at how twisted and self-serving she has become.
