Hi peace- Your H could be starting to cycle...starting to question what he is doing. If he is, he has a long way to go so try not to put too much thought into it because it will just make you crazy. Just keep doing what you are doing, being happy just moving forward with your life.
You are right about your H's choices and he will have to live with those choices. You know you have done and continue to do the right thing for your kids and for your M. Knowing that should give you confidence on your journey.
I think they do the nice things out of guilt. IMO, the touch and go's aren't serious, but just a way to stay connected using the most minimum effort possible. I agree with Upside that he still has a long long way to go. You don't need to hold yourself back to wait for him to catch up because it may never happen.
Slowly, I think we'll get to the point of really letting go. [I thought I was there, but I just found out that not only did my H buy ogre my ring, I just saw a picture of her wearing my SAME EXACT watch! And what looks to be a diamond ring on her left ring finger. It's enough to make me start a new thread! (after I vomit)]
You're on the right path for yourself, peace. Keep on going.
Thanks for support friends SH Sorry about the ring Im beginning to wonder if for some of our Spouses its the other R that keeps them out-They are in love and for some it seems to last a long time they say the odds arent good for A, but many on this board seem to last or M I am still so baffled by all this just when I think I let go,,I feel sad all over again I review the devestation and rejection of my H and I cant make sense of it I still see the possibilities and I remember all our time together and I still want to keep our Famaily together I am hurt sometimes I feel I will never recover from this I will be scarred peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I know the baffled feeling. We can read all about mlc, affairs, depression, etc. and on one level we get it. But when it comes down to looking at our own situation and we remember what a good M we once had, it is truely totally baffling.
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
well I got in a slight fender bender today I was bunned but I canrt sweat the small stuff right we are all ok other persons car was ok just my door --my new car H picked us up from car body shop H said I could use his car?? That was nice he will use motorcycle and work van sometimes he is really thoughtful! He drove us home and took kids weird to be in his car..like we talked like everything so normal H looks terrible worse than ever looks depressed weight gain His phone rang..he looked at # and didnt pick it up also nice! I have been very sad..the waves of grief are flowing thru me tearful and I feel the grief and loss of hope of H and mother has set in I spoke with a grief pastor today and he helped me understand the process I only want to feel and deal with it so I can move on He said there will be an ending I have to believe that I miss My Mom greatly and feel alone I miis my H and I griev for the loss of our M and family I know God is here with me and I want to seek his will that is top priority right now I feel letting go is his will Allowing for D is also his will peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
My H said in the beginning of the A, you think it is love, etc. but then you reach a point where you realize this is all an illusion, not what it is cracked up to be and it is NOT love at all.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I'm glad no one was hurt in your accident. You are a strong person to seek out help from your pastor. It should really help you to have someone to help you work through your grief and sadness.
peace- I am sorry to hear about your accident but thankfully no one was hurt. It is nice that your H is helping you out...he does still seem to be there for you at times. I can see how it would give you mixed feelings. If you can, appreciate what your H is able to give you and move forward. I know it has to be hard.
I can only imagine the grief you are feeling...it seems so unfair what you have had do endure. I agree that it is good that you are talking to a grief pastor. Hopefully he has some good information to help you. When bad things have happened in my life, I think about what God wants me to learn from the experience...it seemed to help me when I focused on any silver linings I could find.
Things will get better. You will work through this and heal and be a stronger person for it. Allow yourself the time to grieve and heal...it does take time to process everything...don't try to rush it or avoid it because it could come back to haunt you later.
