Wow. I did not need this right now but I guess God decided I am strong enough to deal with it so I will.
But what if He decided to give you that little revelation so you'd reconsider thanking her for all that she used to do because if you do that at this time, you might only reiterate in her warped mind the idea that she was all good and Frank really was all bad?
That was just a knee-jerk kinda thought but I would seriously hold the accolades for the time being. I do know the value to both of you that will come with stating those things...I have done it myself...I'm just saying now might not be the right time.
Also, with so much anger still left to deal with - which is not lost on her - it is difficult to imagine she would receive your words sincerely anyway.
Well, it's been uneventful. W came over with the intention of making dinner for the girls. D17 is going out to dinner, D13 is expecting me to go get mexican for she and I.
W was 'happy and upbeat', said what she had to say then went into 'her room'.
She called me on the intercom and said she had enough money on her Sears card to get new tires on the Minivan because 'we really need them' and also that 'we might be able to get our water heater replaced also' (it's got a drip leak).
'we'. How funny. I guess she sees it as 'we own them jointly so we need to take care of them'. Of course, I pay for insurance, car payments, etc, etc, etc.
I'm ok now. The crisis is over and I accept that anything I say or do at this point will just bring more turmoil into my life that I am not ready to deal with.
Everything I do has to be for my greater good, and no good can come of any of this.
I had a dream last night that W and I were together and happy. Given the way I've been feeling that's really odd.
W came by this morning to give D17 a ride to band camp. While she was here she fed the dogs. I went downstairs and she was pleasant towards me.
I realize now that she speaks in terms of 'our house' 'our cars' because she doesn't want to let go of that 'life' with the kids. It's not me, it's the life, the familiarity.
While she probably cares what happens to me, she's long past having anything to do with me. If I didn't happen to come into the kitchen this morning there would have been no interaction.
So, I'm going to go into 'no contact' mode. If she comes to the house I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to her at all. I think this is best for me. When she does initiate contact I'll be myself.
The woman I knew is long gone, the alien has taken over 100%. My new life has begun and it's time for me to stand down.
When she left, she took the Prius and left the minivan.
One other thing, the kids seem to have adjusted to the way things are. I'm the one who's lagging behind and needing to accept this is the way it is.
W is almost out of my heart. I'm not seeing anything encouraging any more so moving on is not as hard as it was a few months ago. I'm not filing right now, no need to take on more work.
Time to be still and let God do his work in my life.
I went around the corner and saw her 'friend's truck parked there.
it's 2 pm in the afternoon.
He's trying to 'hide' that he's there.
I'm being lied to.
Don't make the same mistake I made frank. Please. I think your position on this and where your W is now is clear. You're killing yourself now and hurting yourself.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Don't make the same mistake I made frank. Please. I think your position on this and where your W is now is clear. You're killing yourself now and hurting yourself.
No, I won't. I no longer drive near there. I drive around the block if I have to go in that general direction. I don't need to hurt myself any more, I know enough.
