I get what you're saying. I think though that sometimes we will never know what people have to live with as a consequence of their actions. For some saying "I'm sorry" is a really hard thing to admit, but that doesn't make their regret any less.
I had this conversation with a friend who is a professional. She said that we all look back and have regrets about something we have done in life. She said that that's just part of being human. No one gets through this life without wishing they had handled something differently. The difference is in the size and depth of the hurt you've caused. I think that walking out on your family has to be one of the bigger bad choices that anyone could make, and that the guilt must be awful! So is it Karma... yes, I believe so because it must be haunting.
I get what you're saying. I think though that sometimes we will never know what people have to live with as a consequence of their actions. For some saying "I'm sorry" is a really hard thing to admit, but that doesn't make their regret any less.
I had this conversation with a friend who is a professional. She said that we all look back and have regrets about something we have done in life. She said that that's just part of being human. No one gets through this life without wishing they had handled something differently. The difference is in the size and depth of the hurt you've caused. I think that walking out on your family has to be one of the bigger bad choices that anyone could make, and that the guilt must be awful! So is it Karma... yes, I believe so because it must be haunting.
Beth, I have been through this twice, my father, then my XW. To this day neither one has admited or even remotely acted like they did nothing wrong. I have seen a lot in my life, personally and with others. I can tell you with absolute conviction that there are many people in this world that can and will do ANYTHING and act like they did nothing wrong. Do I believe that they think they did? NO WAY! People like that will find others to be around them that will re-enforce what they did. As for Karma, it a crock! I've never seen it go the other way and as I said earlier, I haven't read anything on this thread to convince me to feel otherwise.
I can tell you with absolute conviction that there are many people in this world that can and will do ANYTHING and act like they did nothing wrong.
So you've met my X and his new wife?!
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Do I believe that they think they did? NO WAY! People like that will find others to be around them that will re-enforce what they did.
And marry them immediately!!! LOL
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As for Karma, it a crock! I've never seen it go the other way and as I said earlier, I haven't read anything on this thread to convince me to feel otherwise.
Maybe you just aren't able to see it because people like that will do anything to substantiate their actions and will never show you that they regret anything.....so they keep faking it.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I do understand what you're saying. Maybe the thought of Karma is what keep people with a conscience in line. So then a better way to phrase it is that I know if I had hurt people as our ex's had I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt. I do know that some people are narcissists and sociopaths who aren't capable of feeling anything. So that's a very good point.
Don't think that your point of view isn't aprreciated because it certainly is! Besides, you must have a "braveheart" to risk coming up against a bunch of women.
In a perfect world, there'd be some sort of tit for tat. But I don't think this is a just world. It's a great place to be, warts and all, but I don't subscribe to the idea of all things equaling out on this plane of existence.
I do believe that we are given challenges that help us to grow and reach our potential, but we still have choice. We help choose or determine our outcomes, including WASs. Otherwise, we'd just be idiot puppets playing roles and passively receiving the decisions of some karmic puppet-master.
If we end up with peace and contentment and an ability to live with ourselves, our emotions and thoughts even in the quiet of the night, then maybe that's b/c we've made choices that have not played havoc with our conscience, relationships, whatever...
If we end up jumping from one R to the next, have little to show for longterm friendships or healthy connections with our children, if we seem to always have a litany of unexplained physical ailments or lack of peace, maybe that also reflects one's choices.
Then again, I've met several very saintly people who've had to live through several months, even years of very brutal, isolated struggles involving things like pain, loss of loved ones, financial loss, before reaching some quieting of their life storms. Yet, each never failed to teach me s/t about living gracefully.
Then again, I've met several very saintly people who've had to live through several months, even years of very brutal, isolated struggles involving things like pain, loss of loved ones, financial loss, before reaching some quieting of their life storms. Yet, each never failed to teach me s/t about living gracefully.
Yes but don't these kinds of things happen in order for us to grow. To become the people that we were meant to be? In some instances these are things that we had no control over just as with a divorce. So I don't consider that Karma if nothing provoked it. Does that even make sense???? DUH
Karma. I do believe the best karma is those who are wrong GAL and being content. But I personally think it takes many years if ever for us to actually see the karma that explodes on someone who did us wrong.
Most of my friends here know I was married twice. I D'd my 1st H because my kids were in danger. He was in the military, but was abusing prescription drugs (hiding that fact from the MIL), and was the most womanizing narcissist I have ever met and I had to take them away for their safety. I left everything. the house, the furniture, the pension, just to get away. But I knew I had to.
So many years have passed. I remarried, X1 remarried. I had twins, X1 had twins. I divorced, X1 divorced. Seems like the same story right? The difference is that X1 has lost his 2nd set of children, cannot even see them without supervision, has lost his military pension to his X and kids, and his first 2 kids have nothing to do with him. Every now and then he calls my daughter and cries to her. She feels sorry for him. But she wishes she had a real live father. She loves him, but she doesn't see him.
He lost. I wish he had not, but he did. And he chose that for himself.
Karma, not really. I think when we all stand at the pearly gates, that's when karma exists. And then, we here on earth do not hear about it. But I do believe that bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. It's how we live our lives that matters.
I prob'ly don't understand karmic law well enough. Time to schedule a trek to Tibet. Actually, where is the Dali Llama these days?
Actually he's living with me now. Yeah, kids are gone so he could have his choice of rooms. Plus he really liked that I had AC. You need that when you live under all those sheets! Who knew?
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I'm doing swimmingly - not Phelps-like, more like dog paddling, but doing good. Hows your summer ending up? Thank God its football season!!!!!
Oh come on now. You'll always be Phelps-like in my book!
Actually he's living with me now. Yeah, kids are gone so he could have his choice of rooms. Plus he really liked that I had AC. You need that when you live under all those sheets! Who knew?
