just read your last post to the old thread and figured best to respond here.
you don't need to be whacked...you hold your own 2x4 you've just got to learn how to use it.
I understand your wishing your h responded the same way as the new victims wife...sorry he didn't but you can't punish him or yourself for that...things happen.
perhaps a way to look at things is this...
affair..crisis or opportunity?
if h didn't have this affair how would your r have progressed?
would you have learned, grown, changed etc?
would h have learned, grown, changed etc?
yes it certainly sucks that these things happend...it would have been nicer if our h's were open and honest with us about their feelings and let us know what we could do but that really wouldn't have worked would it?!
as resentful as I have been about h's a being the catalyst for change in our r I have to accept that it happend and accept the changes for what they are...they are good and so I can choose to focus on the new..the changes...the better r...or I can dwell on the catalyst and not enjoy the changes.
