no expectations 9

[peacetoday]

well I got in a slight fender bender today
I was bunned but I canrt sweat the small stuff right
we are all ok
other persons car was ok just my door --my new car
H picked us up from car body shop
H said I could use his car??
That was nice
he will use motorcycle and work van
sometimes he is really thoughtful!
He drove us home and took kids
weird to be in his car..like we talked like everything so normal
H looks terrible worse than ever
looks depressed weight gain
His phone rang..he looked at # and didnt pick it up
also nice!
I have been very sad..the waves of grief are flowing thru me
tearful and I feel the grief and loss of hope of H and mother has set in
I spoke with a grief pastor today and he helped me understand the process
I only want to feel and deal with it so I can move on
He said there will be an ending
I have to believe that
I miss My Mom greatly and feel alone
I miis my H and I griev for the loss of our M and family
I know God is here with me and I want to seek his will
that is top priority
right now I feel letting go is his will
Allowing for D is also his will
peace