So I had counseling tonight and she said that my feelings were valid, that it was ok to tell someone that you are angry at them, that they have hurt you. It doesnt matter that he is depressed, I wouldnt be being unfair if I do that. Otherwise, I will have to deal with those emotions somehow and so far they are turned inwards and are causing me to be depressed.

So I was determined to try and speak to him. I called him at 8, expecting him to be out at football, sure enough, no answer. I called back at 9 when he would be home, it wsa engaged. To test it wasnt someone else leaving a message, I called back 5 or 10 minutes later, it was still engaged so he was home. So I called back at 9.15 and it rang... and he didnt answer. I couldnt put the phone down, so left a message along the lines of "Hi, I hope you're ok, I rang earlier but it was engaged, so give me a ring back if you're not too tired"... he hasnt. So, its been 8 days since we spoke. He didnt answer as either:

a) Hes deliberately ignoring my call
b) He's doing a because he has decided its over for good
c) he's doing a becuase he has met someone else
d) He's doing a becuase he's too depressed and cant handle speaking to me
e) He put the phone down and went in the shower - but he atill hasnt rung back, so he is still doing a
f) he went straight out for a drink after putting the phone down at 9.10


I cant believe he ignored my email today and then my phonecall. He is literally ignoroing me. He is in Cornwall as his phone was engaged earlier. I feel sick to my stomach and almost shocked that he could actually string me along for 6 months and then dump me a second time.

This has echoes of December when he wouldnt answer the phone to me, so I stopped calling for the whole of January. Then he got back in touch, but theres no way we would go around another cycle of this. This is the culmination of a process that begun in February. Its not the start of another one.

Thnking about it, he ignored my phonecall last Sunday. Monday he picked up but said he didnt want to talk. Tuesday we spoke and I asked him to meet me to sign the lease, but he sounded irritable and we never did arrange to meet. I called him Friday and he ignored it. He then emailed me on Monday about how ropey and wet his weekend was, but didnt mention the lease. I replied, also not mentioning the lease, but he hasnt. I emailed him today about the lease and just saying hi and he didnt reply. So this is it, this is how my story end. With him refusing to answer my calls or emails.