Frank, I like that you appreciate all your W has done. Hopefully, both of you can show thanks to each other as you go down the road of life whether you are together or apart. Taking the high road is a noble and right way.
I do see it hard for you to detach while your W can come and go as she wishes. I can only say from my own experience that when I booted my W out of the house that I was able to not worry about her and we got along much better. But mine was a different situation as she was wanting to date other men and I told her "fine, you are not living under the same roof as me".
BTW... What kind of programming work do you do? I am a system level programmer (device drivers) and find it to be quite boring but a non-stressful means to put bacon on the kids plates.
